Today, while doing massages at work, I was thinking about everything that has transpired in the last week or so and I'm bummed. It seems, as I put it out there- that everyone pretty much agrees- men just want to get laid. Fine. But being single and trying to weed through all of the scum bags of Southern California can be depressing at times; and I'm a little bummed that I haven't found anyone decent to date or hang out with in the last 4 months. We don't even have to date- I just need a good guy friend to do things with cause I am around so much estrogen I'm suffocating lately.
I don't even know why I'm feeling pressure to find a guy to date lately anyway. Maybe because both my roommates have someone and I am spending more and more time alone. I have gotten increasingly lonely these last few months. I decided this morning though, that from now on if a guy at a bar asks for my number, I'm not giving it to them- no matter how cute he is. Every guy I have met at a bar so far in the last few months has been an aggressive ass. The problem is I don't know where else to look to meet someone. I hate online dating and can't bring myself to do it; that seems to wield the same types of results as the bar for me anyway...guys just looking to get laid. I know you have to weed heavily online too- I'm over weeding all the time. It's all I do- weed, weed, weed. It's tiring and so old to me. All these guys do the same things over and over- no one is original anymore. My friends keep encouraging me to hold on- they have met good guys in the bar and also remind me that "hey, we're in the bar and we're good girls so..." but I can't seem to attract a normal guy in the bar. Bar is out. Online is out. I've never met a guy at the gym or at the grocery store- so don't even mention it. I don't really go to concerts, and I work Sundays now so I don't go to church anymore really...
WHAT'S LEFT.
Where can I look to find a good guy?
D
Well. First. Re: the difficulty in finding good men in bars. There are, in fact, good guys in bars. The problem is that if they're trolling the bar for girs--uh-hmm--they're not looking for a stable relationshhip, exactly. They don't look in a bar for a good girl. It can happen, but odds are poor.
ReplyDeleteYou don't go fishing for salmon in a pond, you know?
At any rate, you find guys who are ready to be found at church socials, at work (Yes, it can happen)...mostly you come across guys while you're doing something else. They're there; you're there.
My husband and I met at a local restaurant that had carhops. :} Yeah, that long ago. Everyone went in cars and hung out in the parking lot pretending to eat. I have to tell you, most of the guys there were NOT looking for a stable relationship.
I said "NO" a lot. I also got an amazing number of marriage proposals that summer...because they thought that would get me horizontal, not because they wanted to get married. I was not that naive.
The thing is, I wasn't looking for a stable relationship or to get married, either. You send out different vibes when you're on that kind of search. Sometimes those vibes scare guys off. I was just out to have fun for the summer until I had to go back to college.
But Bill and I got hitched 6 months after we met there. (It was years before "back to college" happened.) so, a match up can happen in the oddest places.
Well, sorry about my trip down memory lane. It's just my way of saying, you'll come across the right guy while you're doing something else.
Hugs, fierce girl. Sorry I wasn't more help. The younger crowd can probably help here.
Deb
No help here, Diz, just support. I like what Deb said. I wonder if online dating is really out for you? I know you've had a time with it, but...I'm clearly out of ideas, here. Whatever you do, just be your sweet self.
ReplyDeletexoxo