Today is my day off and I'm so excited about it.
It's the first day off I've had in 13 days. I don't even know what to do with myself. Since everyone else I know works on Mondays, I think I am going to go to the movies by myself and enjoy a matinee. I swore yesterday that I was going to work out and go to yoga, but it seems like the last thing I want to do right now. Maybe this afternoon? I just want to be alone to process some of the feelings I've been feeling lately regarding the massage therapist and the other guy. I don't know why I am so attached and in love with the massage therapist- he has so many problems and is such an ass sometimes, but almost instantaneously, as soon as I think of what an ass he is, I remember all the sweet things he would say and do. He was very intimate with me; I'm not talking sexually- I'm talking about talking with me for hours on end about my family and his family and our dreams and traveling the world together and etc etc etc...holding my face and keeping his face close to my neck and face and kissing me and whispering sweet things in my ear about how he thinks about me all the time and he has big plans for our futures and has never met a girl like me and on and on and on. Ahhhh...the things he would say to me. The way he held me and pressed his face into my hair and face and neck...I'll stop now, like you want to read this stuff- I don't. I don't want to remember what a good kisser he was or how tender he can be- it's painful today, especially as I kick douche #2 to the curb. Douche #2 reminded me that MT (douche #1) was actually pretty decent. Anyway, I need to clear my head, so I am off to spend the day by myself. Hopefully I can muster up a workout when I get back.