Monday, March 28, 2011

Bye Bye old Job...Hello new Job.


I just turned in my 2 weeks notice.  I am shaking so bad right now. Ha!

I sat in on the weekly sales meeting call this morning for the new job; and let me tell you- I am so excited.  The new boss has gone above and beyond to help me feel welcome and comfortable.  He mentioned on the call that he recently hired 4 new reps and is in the process of hiring 5 new reps; he is slammed right now, because not only does he hire them- but then he has to train them as well.  In other words- the growth of the company is blowing up right now.  It's true; I had a facial on Saturday from him and when I went out Saturday night with my friends- I probably got about 6 compliments on "how good my skin looks" at the party we went to.  Almost everyone asked me where they could get this new facial and how much it would cost them.  I don't sell the facials themselves- I sell the machine that gives the facial.  So you know microderm?  This is a machine- like microderm- but different.  I will be selling the machine to plastic surgeons, dermatologists, and medical spas.  It made me feel so good that so many people were asking about it (I wasn't bringing it up I SWEAR!) and one of my friends who is studying to become a dermatologist in LA wanted to know all about the machine.  While I haven't gone through training yet, I told him all that I could remember/think of- and he told me that when he is done with school and he opens his new office- he will buy a machine from me.  Before I even got half way through the benefits of these facials- he said, "Done!  I'll buy one! I want one!  Can I get a facial from you with this machine?  I'll trade you botox for it!!!" made me feel good that someone in the industry was enthusiastic about it and said they would buy a machine from me (eventually).  It gives me hope that I can be successful in selling this thing. :)

So that's the new job.  Workouts/eating/all of that jazz- meh.  It's going.  I didn't work out at all last week and I'm a little disappointed in myself.  But today is a new day and I am back on the wagon.  Believe it or not I was really seeing results that first week and it has motivated me to get back on it.  PLUS I am a little intimidated with some of the reps working at the new job.  They aren't skanky girls by any means- but they are all beautiful and they all look fabulous; their skin, their hair, their size.  (There are guys too that are reps but of course I'm only concerned about what the other women look like).  I know that going into plastics and derms offices- I will be judged by my appearance.  So I am also motivated by that to get my ars into shape.

I did it!  I turned in my 2 weeks!  Yay me!



Thursday, March 24, 2011

It happened.

I got the job offer today. :)  EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

I turn in my two weeks tomorrow.  I'm freaking out.  Do I turn it in tomorrow?  I go home next week to see my family, maybe I should go over the contract with my mom first.  I don't know how these things work- I've never worked somewhere as a consultant...does anyone know about these things????


The bosses are taking me to a celebratory dinner Tuesday night.  I can't believe it!  I have never been taken to a celebratory dinner with whomever I want to invite to be inducted into a new work family.  They said bring roommates, friends, anyone I want.  ?? This could get expensive.  This is so crazy!!  The fact that they would go all out for me like this is humbling and amazing.  It makes me feel so good- I finally feel like I matter to my boss. :)  I am so excited!

More to come...



Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My Ride Along

So I went for my ride along today with "The Company".  Alex- one of my future boss's- took me along with him while he did 3 facials at a spa here in Orange County.  We had a blast- I can tell right now that this is not going to be a normal job.  For one- we were laughing and joking nonstop.  I already feel more comfortable around him than I do around my current boss.  Most of the time "bosses" freak me out.  I told you what happened when I had to meet with the CEO.  But this boss is something else.  He is out of control and he literally had me dying the whole time.  He's cool- it gives me hope.

Although I am super excited and can hardly wait to start the new job- a part of me is kind of sad to see the old one go.  I was talking to one of my coworkers tonight and no one has a clue (which they shouldn't as I obviously haven't said anything to anyone).  I like a few of my coworkers and I'm kind of sad to leave them.  What is wrong with me?  Why do I get so attached to jobs?  Quitting has always been the absolute hardest part of any job I've ever had, hands down.  I just know it's close- I'm supposed to call Craig tomorrow to discuss final logistics and then I'm sure by the beginning of next week I'll get an official offer letter.  Which means I'll need to turn in my two weeks soon.  It just made me sad to talk to my coworker tonight knowing that we wouldn't be having these conversations much longer.  I just need to keep thinking about the $$$...

I can't believe I'm switching jobs.  I feel like I've been doing (and could do) my job forever.  No, I don't love my job- but it's comfortable.  I know it.  I could skate by forever if I wanted to.  But the new job is so exciting to me- it literally is something that I am so passionate about and I am so freaking excited to get started and get out there.  It almost isn't about the money...although it kind of is too.  It's just so much more money (supposedly) that I can't wrap my head around it sometimes.  I just hope that I'm good at my job.  I just want to be good. :)

At the last second I decided to buy a ticket home to see my family next week.  I am so excited to go I can't stand it!  I got on facetime with my nephew the other day and he kept blowing me kisses.  It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen and I seriously started crying.  Yes- I am a sap like that. ;)

Okay loves- I have to go to bed.  I have presentations at Compton High School tomorrow morning; pray for me I don't get shot. :)  MUAH!!!


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Mo Money Mo Money Mo Money!

The weirdest thing happened today.

I came home and found something in the mail- a check.  Apparently I got a refund from my old car loan when I purchased the new car.  It's not much- a few hundred dollars, but I can't seem to figure out what to do with the money.

Do I put it in savings?

Do I pull cash and put it in my little emergency funds in my room I've been trying to save for (trying to save $500 cash in case of emergency)?

Do I buy some groceries or maybe some shit I need?  Do I buy some more emergency stuff that I've had to put on hold because I am on a limited budget?

Do I split it up between these things?


Weird that finding money would kind of stress me out.  This is where I'm at in my life right now- good things are causing me to weird out. Ha.


Monday, March 21, 2011

I have no scale, but at least I have toilet paper.

I'm finally feeling "less fat"...which is good- because intenso workouts resume today.  I did not get my yoga session in, which I regret- but I was trying to wait on the roommate and ended up getting too busy and now I won't be able to get yoga in today. But everything else resumes- the million jumps (we're doing over 1000 jumps right now), a 4-5 mile run, and ab ripper death.  I. WILL. GET. SKINNY.

I wanted to weigh in this morning- but alas, there is no scale.  :(  My roommate kept trying to pump me up this morning, reminding me that I'll work harder knowing I have a weigh in coming up- but I tried to explain to her that I am the opposite- I do better when I know I'm going down vs just wondering until weigh in day.  When I only weigh once a week- I get this crazy notion in my head that I have "time" until the next weigh in (still 4 more days to burn this off!)- so I eat indulge.  This weekend was no exception; once I knew the scale was gone I had nachos, pizza, and cookies yesterday.  I told myself I have all week to burn it off.  I laid around and watched movies all day with the roommate and friends; the only thing I could've done to burn less calories than that is actually fall into a coma.  Today- I went back to cutting out sugar again for the rest of Lent- just because I messed up over the weekend doesn't mean I should give up entirely- but I had another pizza for lunch.  At least I haven't had any soda.  Sheesh.

In other news- I set up my day to go on my ride along with someone from "The Company" on Wed.  I am nervous; I've been trying to talk myself out of it all morning.  I just paid off another credit card and I am finally on track to have most of my debt gone by the end of this year...if not all of am I insane to try to switch jobs right now and NOT have a set salary?  These economic times are shaky!  This is NOT the time to dump my salary!  BUT...I can't let myself think this way.  I had to stuff these feelings down and ignore them and remember- that if I can make this happen- I will make more money in one month than I can make in 3 months in my job now.  If I can make myself just jump...I am setting myself up to make more money long term than I ever thought possible- I just need to have faith in myself and jump!!  I have to have a conversation with my mother about this every week or so.  She talks me off the ledge every time.  She reminded me again that she absolutely believes in me and that she KNOWS I can do this 100% and she is not in the least bit afraid.  She reminds me that I MUST do this- or I will kick myself forever...and she is right.  As scary as it is- I need to take the jump.  So around 4, I finally called the guy and set everything up.  He was being super funny and laughing and joking around with me and told me he'd been waiting for my call.  Why are they so nice over there?  It's a little off putting.  Needless to say- I love my mom.  I love my mom more than anything in the world and am so grateful every single day that she is my mom and I still have her in my life.

In other news...Oh wait- THERE IS NOTHING ELSE.  That's right...there are no men.  Unless you want to hear about me and all of my estrogen laden friends- I have nothing else exciting to share.  I've been working tirelessly to put together my 72 hour emergency kit and it's almost done and I'm so proud of myself.  The roomie and I have been working tirelessly to buy and store everything we need in case of an emergency.  Saturday night her and another friend of mine went to WalMart to buy more stuff while I was at the wedding. Apparently everyone in OC has bought up everything at the store because they said the place had been ransacked and there was nothing left.  It makes me nervous.  I just keep trying to remind myself I have the basics....water, water, a little food, candles and matches, toilet paper, and a flashlight with batteries.  Yes, the more you have, the better.  I will be getting more as Walmart gets more.  But for now- I have a good start.

Okay lovies- time to go workout and read some blogs.  XO!


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Shake it.

Note:  These crazy posts are happening at late hours of the night- just FYI.  Who says I'm sane at 2 am?  Keep that in mind as you proceed...

I came home today to find my scale has been hidden.  The roomie felt I needed a break from the obsession.  She pointed out that it's a double negative- I feel fat- so I go to the scale looking for comfort- and when I don't find it- I feel worse.  She noticed I've been super stressed about the war with the scale the last few days and she doesn't like it.  She says I should be feeling great from my workouts- which I was doing for a few days...but not lately.  So she took it.  I get to weigh once a week now and that's it.  Boo.  I don't know how I'm going to live without my scale...I'm kind of relieved and kind of freaked beyond belief.  This is NOT the time to steal my scale!

I've been eating terribly the last two days.  I can't seem to reign it in.  Who cares, right? Not I- not right now.  It's pity party central over here.  Tonight I had a wedding to go to; afterwards my friend and I were both in a weird place and stopped for a McDonald's ice cream cone.  This is after we had wedding cake in the corner at the reception.  Wasn't I on a sabbatical from sugar?  Yeah- I thought so too.  Even the RELIGIOUS ABSTINENCE for LENT couldn't seem to slow or stop this train wreck from happening.  Throw me into a wedding reception with a skinny ass bride and remind me that I'm still super single and of course I crack.  Awesome.  Luckily the bestie was feeling it too so after our bitch fest and a lot of ice cream- we went out on the town and ended up at a karaoke joint.  No, I didn't sing; I did bang my knee pretty hard on a metal chair though.  Again- Awesome.  I did have a cute little get up on- but when I got home I looked at the pics and am not sure I liked my outfit was kind of boxy.

On a random side note- I came home to find out the roomie and Ape went on a rampage to Wal-Mart to buy food and water for the predicted earthquake that is coming up...and all the camping gear has been completely sold out.  Everyone is in panic mode.  I went to Wal-Mart earlier this week and bought $100 worth of water, food, and a little camping oven (and some flashlights and stuff), but it's not nearly enough.  I hope this thing doesn't happen, seriously.  Can we please go back to normal life?  My roommate has an app on her phone that shows when and where and how big the earthquakes are that are happening all over the world right now. We'll be mid- conversation and her phone will beep- alerting her that another 5.4 earthquake has just hit Indonesia, or Japan (again), or Brazil.  We are all going to die.  The earth is seriously rumbling lately-  I had to tell her to take the app off her phone tonight because it's sending her over the edge just like my scale is sending me over the edge.  What is going on with us?

Ack.  I hope tomorrow is better.



Saturday, March 19, 2011

St. Phatty.

Well, it would be nice to do BYOC for once- but instead I'm just going to write about how pissed I am at the scale and my body right now.  Feel free to skip on if this is boring to you; I do this regularly and I know it and I'm sorry.  I tried to get over it so I could write something light hearted and fun, but I'm not over it, so I'm going to just write what needs to be written and get it over with.

I've been busting my ass HARD all why the frick is the # on the scale going up.  Can someone please explain this to me.  I'm IRATE.

My workout buddy tried to make me promise today that I would not look at the scale for two weeks.  I smiled and said I understood where she was coming from but I couldn't agree to it.  You guys know how crazy I get when I don't weigh on a consistent basis.  I need to keep myself accountable- if I don't weigh consistently, then for some reason I think that it means all bets are off and I can be nuts and it won't matter because I don't have to actually see it.

What I HATE is when I start busting my ass and the numbers go up.  I'm not drinking soda; I'm not eating sugar.  I'm not over eating (for the most part- accidentally had a situation with a family sized bag of chips on Wed).  I already started my period a few days ago (Wed).  There is no reason for the scale to go up.  NONE.  And don't give me this "your muscles are retaining water from lifting" crap- I already know better.  I've lifted weights and lost weight many a time- too many times to actually believe that crap for a second actually.  So what gives.

My other friend- in an attempt to console me tonight- offered up a diet her mother has done after each one of her children was born to lose the weight.  She also did it a few years ago after the numbers slowly crept (she was getting older and it was just happening).  She went from a size 16 to a 4 in a matter of months...and I'm partially tempted to try it, and I'm partially tempted to go back to a low carb/high fat diet my body builder boss put me on once that helped me drop weight pretty quickly.  Dropping carbs (I'm not talking all carbs- I'm talking about seriously restricting them though to 25% of my diet) works; the problem is when you try to go back to normal eating.  But I'm also desperate right now; there is no way in HELL that I'm going to work this hard and get fatter.  I want so bad to be skinny this summer.  I was working out 2 - 4 days a week before- usually just going for a run or doing cardio at the gym- and I was fine.  Now I'm doing yoga every day, running 4 days a week, jumping rope (did over a thousand jumps tonight), doing ab ripper from p90x, and also lifting at the gym twice a week.  It's INTENSE.  I don't mind it in the least- I've actually been sleeping like a babe and feeling pretty awesome- until today.  I just keep thinking- what's the point if I'm just going to gain.  My friend keeps making me swear i won't give up because she swears in a few weeks I'll be able to see the difference.  But the problem is if I gain any more weight I'm going to have a serious meltdown.  I cannot handle gaining weight- especially as much as I've gained.  I weighed in at 144 tonight.  Mind you- I was at 137.6 right before I left for Chicago a little over a month ago.  Then last week I was down to 139.8 and finally feeling like- Okay- I'm getting back to normal.  Now I'm weighing in at 144?  WHAT THE HELL.  It's been all week too.  I've tried to be patient...but I'm losing my patience REAL quick.  My friends and I went to a party tonight and I had to drag a drape out of my closet so I would have something to wear.  You think I'm kidding but I'm not.  We're back to this...

Okay. Rant over.  Anger- not over.  But rant is.  I'm tired and need to sleep.

Love you all- have a great weekend-



Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Interview and a Workout.

Well today was my interview with the CEO.  Can we just say my brain fell out of my butt somewhere between the lobby and his office?  He kept trying to joke around with me, and even when I knew he was joking- I kept staring at him like I didn't have a brain.  BECAUSE I DIDN'T; I knew he was joking- but NOTHING witty was coming to mind to retort back.  NOTHING.  My brain literally shut down on me.  I was so nervous to meet with him that I think my brain just freaked out.  He would say, "that's a joke honey" (he didn't really call me honey- he used my real name) and I would laugh and say, "yep- you caught me.  I'm completely speechless.  Still can't think of a witty comeback."  After 2 or 3 attempts to joke around with me- I think he finally just determined that I am slow and gave up.

The thing is I'm not slow though!  Not normally.  Just today- because I was so nervous and excited.  Craig- my main contact that has brought me in 4 or 5 times now- was in the interview with us.  These people are so great.  They explained to me that they don't normally bring someone in over and over again to meet everyone on the team without hiring them first- but they really like me and are trying to determine where I'd be the most happiest. Seriously?  I could not believe it.  In every interview I have ever gone to- they want YOU to fit the position- not the position fit you and your goals.  It is just another testament to me that this is absolutely the right move for me to make.  Besides my lack of ability to joke around with the CEO- I felt like the interview was really great and I left feeling so good about things.  Craig walked me out and told me he was so excited to start working with me because he could tell that I was passionate about my work and this industry and that we mesh really well and he thinks we'd be an unstoppable team.  Seriously?  You're going to make me cry now, thanks.  It seriously made me feel so good- I haven't had such positive feedback since I quit my former job years ago.  I can NOT wait for that freaking phone call! (he said he would call me by the end of this week)

I am dreading my workouts today.  Evil Aunt Flo is here.  Really?  Get lost.  Plus my body is getting more and more fatigued by the day because I am not used to working out so hard day in and day out.  I don't even have time to recuperate until another workout blasts me.  But my little workout buddy is on a high and keeps calling me skinny B and I can't let her down this early on in the game.

It's been one week since Ash Wed started and I feel like I need a diet coke or some sugar.  But I will persevere!  No soda or sugar for me!  Plus it would probably only make my workout that much harder.

Can someone please step in and pretend to be me for the next workout tonight at 6 so I can take a nap instead?  Thanks-


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Best. Life. Ever.

Oh vey...

This new workout routine is kicking my trash like never before.  I love it.  My workout buddy is the best workout buddy I have ever had.  She motivates me all day long.  She makes me push just a little harder; and we're doing EVERYTHING; from yoga, to running, to weights, we do it all.

Tonight we lifted weights.  HARD.  My arms are shaking as I try to type this post.  Even though I'm completely fatigued- I swear I don't know the last time I have been this happy.  I am so unbelievably happy in my life right now that I'm beginning to wonder if I'm manic.  Let those endorphins flow!!!

The Company called- I'm meeting with the CEO tomorrow to discuss $$$.  I am 99% sure I am getting the job- and I am so excited that I literally cannot stand it.  Even though it is a huge leap from what I'm doing now and super scary I have never been more confident to jump.  I just know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am doing what's right and that I will be taken care of.  The Lord DOES bless us every minute- and I am feeling that love stronger than ever today.  I am so grateful for every blessing I have been given, and every trial that has led me to this point.

It's not just work either- it's my diet too.  Everything is on point since I cut out soda, sugar, and meat for Lent.  It's my workouts- they are hard and because I'm eating right- I am blazing through them with more energy than ever before.  It's also all of the amazing, ambitious, talented and beautiful women that are my friends, my support group, my confidants, and my inspiration.  How lucky am I to be blessed with so many good examples in my life?  Even YOU women who read and comment on my blog lift me and inspire me with all of your goals and hard work and effort to change your lives day in and day out- and it makes me want to be better and try harder too in my own life.

I told my workout buddy tonight that I feel more right and better about this year of my life than any year before.  I don't know what it is because every year I say "this is my year", but something is different about this year.  I KNOW that this is the best year yet.  Sure it started out kind of tough- but that doesn't stop me from believing and being excited for what is to come.

Here is the scripture I read this morning that really motivated all of this's beautiful and so poignant (I believe) to what I'm going through right now.

"Awake, my sons (and/or daughter); put on the armor of righteousness.  Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust".  For those of you that are curious as to where this scripture comes from- it's from the Book of Mormon- in 2nd Nephi.

I am coming to learn that once you find your balance- you can really shoot off and do so much more than you ever anticipated.  I learned this in yoga; first you find that you are just trying to balance on one leg.  But then one day you realize you kind of have a little balance so you can start to feel the rest of your body and what it's doing...and you can begin to focus on that because your leg is still...and then all of the sudden your arms are reaching further ahead of you than you ever thought possible while your leg is shooting behind you and you're almost lifted off the ground.  You're doing all of this- while balancing on one leg.  It amazes me.  My happiness is a choice- and I'm choosing it today.



Monday, March 14, 2011

Emergency preparedness...

I am super excited about my new workout routine.  I am still sore from Saturday's workout and I love it.  I don't know why this makes me feel like I have something to focus on - (cause in reality I have a ton of things that I still need to focus on, let's be honest), but it helps and lifts my spirits (I'm not depressed, but I am always surprised at how much working out and having goals make me feel better...even after all this time).  My friend Em that I'm doing this thing with- she constantly hits me up with little text messages and voicemails that say things like, "we're going to be the skinniest bitches ever!" and it is keeping me excited and super motivated.  Here's to summer and having fun on the beach!!!

After the horrific events in Japan I am also back to putting together a 72 hour emergency kit.  If you were reading my blog a few months ago- you might remember I had like...a DAY where I was all about it.  That day came and went.  But now, after realizing that earthquake could've hit us this weekend here on the west coast- and after reading tons of headlines that say millions are still without food, water, and warmth, I am back to building my little emergency pack to keep in my car or to keep under my bed to 'grab and go".   I've also been reading that "California is next"...and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if we were.  Which is all the more reason I need to quit being lazy and put a emergency bag together.  You know- fresh underwear,'s all essentials. :)

XO friends!!! Wish me luck on my workout!


Saturday, March 12, 2011

And It Begins..

Damn Guys...I'm a little nervous.

It's been over a week since I last went running...the actual date I'm not sure of now.  I've been sick since last Thursday, that much I do know for sure.  But I just had a convo with one of my besties about "how to get in the best shape of your life" (she did this last summer) and I signed up to do it with her.  Takes 6 weeks apparently- to get in the best shape of your life.  We'll be running 4 days a week, jump roping (I don't know how many days here), and doing p90x twice a week.  We're going running today at noon, followed by 500 jumpropes, then "ab-ripper" by p90x, then yoga for a cooldown at 3:30.  I HAVEN'T BEEN WORKING OUT (other than yoga which I don't really consider a hard...'lose weight' type of workout.  I know people say you lose weight doing yoga...I don't necessarily agree.  Maybe if you have a lot to lose.  I do think it helps me from being sore (keeps lactic acid from settling in your muscles), it helps me tone up too, and I love yoga sculpt- which is yoga with weights.  I do think it is really good for your body for stretching and for detoxification purposes and I've never been sore or tight from a hard workout if I'm doing yoga consistently). 

I'm seriously excited and nervous.  Believe it or not- I've actually been sticking to my Lent goals.  I found out the other day from a reader that Lent actually is 47 days, not 40...but that's fine with me.  What's 7 more days?  I haven't been gaining or losing any weight as I've been sick and "eating what I want to" to get through (which really just means I haven't been grocery shopping).  I also haven't been working out.  I'm not 100% better, but it's been a week and a half and I figure- I need to get back on the wagon eventually anyway.  I don't know how much longer I can just sit around.

Yeah, I've been craving Diet Coke or Sprite (oddly) like a madwoman lately.  But haven't had any!  I've also been craving sugar- but the good news is I'm used to that by now and know how to just avoid it.  As long as I'm not drinking too much aspartame, the sugar cravings stay pretty small and manageable.  It's the aspartame that gets me really craving.  Did you know that pretty much all gum has aspartame in it?  I didn't know this- but was recently looking at the ingredients in my pack of gum- because it was sugar free and I was trying to figure out what they put in it instead- and I noticed it was aspartame.  I started looking at all gums to find one without...and ALL of them have aspartame in them.  Maybe natural gums don't?  I don't know- I've never tried a natural gum because I've heard they are sick, but just thought maybe you should know if you try to avoid aspartame too...

Okay- rambling over.  Have a great weekend friends!!  Let's hope I survive my intense workouts today!!!

On to a skinnier me...



Friday, March 11, 2011



I have spent several hours today looking at pictures of the devastation that has hit Japan.  It's so saddening to see the horrific events that have happened there; can you imagine having everything swept from you and possibly having no way to even contact your loved ones to find out if they are still alive and where they are?  What about the little children who somehow got separated from their moms?  How do you even help a child find their family?  Or vice versa?  It' so bizarre to me...I can't even imagine.  To literally have everything taken from you and not even know where you are going to stay...I seriously cannot imagine.  I guess it hits close to home for me because I live half a mile from the beach here, and after seeing the massive tidal waves that have destroyed half of Japan, I am seriously humbled and grateful that those kinds of waves didn't hit us too.  They were supposed to- we've been on watch all day and they just barely re-opened the beaches about an hour ago.

What I don't understand is why so many people went down to the beach today to "watch".  ARE YOU INSANE CALIFORNIANS??  Has anyone seen the impact and the force of the water in those clips?  If you are down by the beach when a wave hits like that- you are done. FINITO.  There is no getting away from that kind of water- I just read on CNN that those waves can reach speeds of up to 640 mph.  Plus, have you seen the clips?  Those waves are Massive!  While they might not be higher than 5 feet high- they carry a force that can destroy everything.  What are you watching for?  Dolphins to do some tricks?  Do you think you can just jump in your car and drive home?  Do you think your house will still be standing when a wave hits it like that?  I have been thinking all day about it- what if that had happened here?  I was laying in bed this morning when calls started coming in from family and friends who were concerned about my safety.  It started around 6 am and I didn't even answer the first 3 because I had no clue what was going on...and I was too tired still.  What if a wave had swept in then?  What if it had come in around 8:45 am, like they predicted?  I never would've been able to say goodbye to my family and friends- literally- if a wave like that had hit here.  I would've been dead pretty quickly considering I live so close to the water.  Dead or stranded or both.  When I finally got up and decided to "prepare", I thought- I should take a shower in case the electricity goes out.  Ha!  That's all I thought- when my friend Ape called around 8:38 to see what I thought we should do, I assured here that it would take a whole hell of a lot for even one wave to cross PCH (Pacific Coast Highway- the highway that runs along the beach), let alone touch our homes.  How naive!  Her mother had called and begged her to evacuate (she lives literally 3 houses away from the beach) and I am sitting here telling her it's unlikely that the water would come that close to us.  I literally live half a mile from the beach- I go running down to the beach path constantly.  The tidal waves that his Japan went as far as 6 miles inland.  I had no idea though; I hadn't seen any of the footage yet.  8:45 came and went without a peep from the ocean.  Despite all of the coast patrol's warnings, people were out surfing today.

I'm just so saddened for the people of Japan.  I think of when Katrina happened; a year later there was still rubble and garbage EVERYWHERE do you clean that up?  There are still reports of aftershocks coming in at 6.9 and higher.  Now the tsunami is headed towards's not over folks.  How sad.  How so very very very sad for the people of Japan.  Seriously- the power and magnitude of this devastation really takes my breath away.

Praying for Japan tonight-


Thursday, March 10, 2011

Letting Go, Letting Flow..

I have been DYING to write this post!!  So much to tell you guys!

So yesterday- I had my interview.  It was awesome and I am so excited- I think I might be starting a new job as soon as April!  Maybe mid- April, I'm not quite sure when it will be.  I'm okay with mid-April or even May because that gives me just a few more paychecks at my job before I transition over...the transition is the scariest part to me. :)  I am super close at getting a few more credit cards paid off and would just like to have them off my plate before the big transition.  The guy I met with yesterday was so personable and great and he would be my boss for the next few months while I get trained on the product and get into the field as a distributor.  After working with/for him for a few months, I would transition again to work on another team- but it is crucial that I take this step first to work on the sales team to learn the product and that aspect of the company before I transition over into my final position.  I am super excited but also super nervous- the sales team is sink or swim for me.  I am really hopeful and I trust and believe that this guy will really help me become fully prepared to sell this thing!  WOOT!!!!

I also went to hot yoga yesterday.  I've been going to yoga every day and am addicted.  While I haven't lost any weight- I'm not surprised- I am still sick and haven't been able to do any other type of exercise as my lungs are still fighting off phlegm.  I am still waking up in the middle of the night due to phlegm/cough attacks.  But I'm mentally in the zone and ready to get down to business!  So it's hard to hold back right now, but I know my body needs to heal.  Being sick did help me lose some pounds and I'm within 3 pounds of my weight pre- Chicago, which really excites me.  I feel really really ready to work on those last 10-15 pounds to get me to my goal weight....please let that happen!

I've also decided to participate in Lent this year, though I'm not Catholic.  Who cares?  I can still do it too!  I love the idea of Lent...and I'm super excited about my sacrifices this year.  I've decided to cut out (surprise surprise) meat, sugar, and soda.  Same things I battle every time when I make a goal- let's be honest.  Weren't sugar and soda my New Year's goals?  Hahahaha...  I feel good about cutting these 3 death traps for Lent because since it's only 40 days I feel like it's doable, rather than looking at an entire year. 

So hopefully between Lent, yoga, and running (once my lungs are in better shape), I hope to be losing/winning in no time.  Bring on the summer!  Bring on the new job!!! Bring on the goals and the vision!!

What are your plans???



Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Bikini Season. Of death.


The "company" called me to set up a time for another interview.  Possibly tomorrow (I have to call in the morning to see if the owner is back in the office- apparently he's been out with the flu too).  I am so excited and nervous I can't stand it.


Keeping my fingers crossed!!! Prayers people! PRAYERS!

Also went to yoga today.  Had to leave the room at one point as to not hack up a lung on my fellow yogi's.  My throat is still a burning trap of death, but other than that I'm feeling better.  I need to get better so I can go running!  Time to get ready for beach body- Summer is a few mere months away!  90 days folks!!!  Are you ready for summer??  Are you?  What are you doing to get ready- I'll take all tips I can get.  I heard a tip from a friend today- she said that she started jumping rope last year for 5 minutes a day and within a few weeks could visibly see a difference in her body tone (in other words- she toned up considerably).  I am not opposed to trying this- ANYTHING helps at this point!!!  My roommate told me today while we were on our way to yoga that she has noticed the last two years that I would do anything I could to avoid the beach and she doesn't want me to be like that this year.  She says it's time to 'handle our business' down at the beach and she needs me to be ready to hang.  It's true; since I've moved to Huntington Beach 3 years ago I have avoided the beach as much as possible, only making it out there a few times per year at most.  And once I'm there I make a point to lay right down and I do NOT MOVE until it's time to go home.  I hate jiggling in some game of beach soccer or beach swimsuits have never held me in place (not just boobs people- ALL of me jiggles constantly).  But I don't want to miss out on the action anymore...while I can't guarantee that I will be playing sports, I also can't keep living indoors when I have such a beautiful place to enjoy...

What will tone me up quick???



Monday, March 7, 2011

Tiger's Blood

Hi Blogland!

As is standard, another weekend has come and gone.  I've been sicker than a dog all weekend, so it wasn't super eventful for me.  But I still wanted to write a post because today has been a really beautiful day and I am feeling hopeful right now...

I just paid all of my bills.  I love/hate paying bills.  I love to pay them and get them out of the way and it feels good to see the amount of money I owe go down a little each month...but I also hate paying bills because let's face it- it leaves me with no money and I'm poor.  I hate it!  But it feels good to be able to pay my bills; I am so grateful I have a job.  I am surprised with myself because as I sat here and balanced my checkbook- I realized- I'm doing a little better than I thought I was.  I have another credit card that is close to getting paid to two more payments and it's history!  I have a little money saved in the bank; not much- but something.  Woot!  I am attempting to save!  That (paying bills) got me going...

I also called that company to follow up and see where I stand.  Of course I got sent straight to voicemail.  It's fine, at least I got the nerve to call and leave a message.  I am somewhat hopeful that the guy I was interviewing with will call me back and let me know what's happening...

I have also been sick all weekend and my weight is finally coming back down.  I weighed in barely..BARELY under the 140's again this morning (for the first time in a month?) and it felt so good to see the 139's again.  I prefer the 130's to the 140's...

So yeah, life is coming along.  I've been thinking a lot lately about hope, action, and in what direction I want to go with my life.  I am excited and hopeful for what my future holds for me at the moment.  I am peaceful and grateful for my life- for the stability of it, and for God for giving me that stability and also helping me recognize my blessings and my successes.  Even though every day is a battle, as Charlie Sheen would say- today I'm winning! (Is he nutso or is it me?)

What are you grateful for??



Friday, March 4, 2011

Left Eye

I thank everybody for the love.

I'm still frustrated, sure.  On top of it- I got sick at some point in the day.  I was driving and then all the sudden my nose was running like crazy, I got a scratch in my throat, and I started coughing and sneezing.  Lovely.

But despite all of the failures this year so far...I realized this morning that we're only a 6th of the way through the year.  It's still a new year, and I still have hope that it will turn around and get better.  Even though I'm kind of bummed (and sick) right now- I know that the energy has shifted.  If big things are trying to come into my life- one of them has to stick eventually- right?  Something good is still cooking in the kitchen my friends- something good!  And I'm excited to find out what it is!  Just bring it to me already!!!!

The other good news is- since I'm sick I no longer have an appetite.  :)  YES!  My left eye is watering out of control, but at least I'm not hungry.  Maybe 2 pounds can come off?  I'd sure love it if they did...



Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Epic Fail.

So, as you know- I've had a lot going on this year.

Tried to get into Grad School- Failed.
Tried a new relationship with a new guy in WI- Failed.
Tried to get a new job- Failed.

And tonight, all I can think about is getting skinny.

Yes, the 6-8 pounds I've put on since Chicago is showing and I don't really want to see it anymore.  I'm in that weird place where you've begun hating your body but you're still too lazy to do much about it.  Yes, you work out, and working out definitely helps- but then you see some cake and you feel sorry for your fat ass so you indulge, which doesn't help.  That's kind of where I'm at.  I see cake- I indulge.  I am lazy and always in a hurry, so I eat out.  What are fruits and vegetables again?  I don't seem to want no.  So naturally, because I'm gaining- I'm becoming obsessed with getting thin again.  When I'm actually on track and being healthy- weight doesn't consume my every thought.  Right now- I'm not on that "healthy" track, so I sit around and think about all the unhealthy things I could do to drop weight quick.  Hmmm....

The thing I've realized lately though- is that I honestly don't think I have control over my weight.  When I obsessively try to lose- I don't.  When I just relax and do the small things- like...drink water instead of diet coke- I lose.  I can't relax at the moment though.  I cannot do it.  Too many things keep happening- too many large and stressful things.  All I do lately is jump from major life changing event to major life changing event...and stress...and eat.  And wear hoodies.  And freak out when I feel a breeze on my muffin top that is hanging out again.

And I've become anti-social.  I hate it.  I am a social creature normally.  How am I to meet men when I'm holed up in my house in a hoodie and sweatpants, eating cake and watching the Academy Awards and the Notebook over the weekend?  And being jealous of everyone else's skinniness?  I haven't seen most of my friends in weeks and I'm going to great lengths to avoid them all.  No one calls or texts me anymore; the only time my phone beeps anymore is when I get another 'words with friends' hit- which I'm obsessed with btw, and it's the only way I seem to communicate anymore.  I'm even jealous of people's blogs lately.  Yes, I said it.  I sit here and think- oh look, other people have fun things to talk about.  Whoop for them.

Okay- I didn't eat cake.  It was those damn Lofthouse cookies.   They are crack, don't fool yourself..

Something is seriously going on with me.  This morning I woke up because my co-worker was calling my was after 10 am.  What the hell!  I slept over 10 hours...I never do that.  Who does that?  And I was so tired I had to come home and take a nap.  I haven't been hungry since Saturday- but let me tell you- that hasn't stopped me from eating.  No siree- wouldn't want me to miss any food now.  What does all of this mean?  Am I sick?


Anyway- I'll stop now because I know I'm being super neg- and I'm sorry.  Just had to get it out somewhere. Hopefully the next major life changing event that happens (prob this month)- whatever it is- works out or who knows what's going to happen.  I might spontaneously combust.



Tuesday, March 1, 2011

No news. Is that good news? No.

Hi friends-

I know it's time for an update as it's been a few days...but the sad truth is- I have no update to give.  The job has not called me back for a 3rd interview.  I have emailed the manager that I have been meeting with, he has not responded.  I do know that they had a huge meeting that they have been trying to prepare for (that happened today), so I'm hoping that that is the reason that they have not called me.  I felt awesome when I left; I'm just trying to keep hope alive at this point.

As far as everything else- nothing new to report there either.  No weight loss (in fact, I've gained).  Surprise.  No new men.  No old men.  Nothing.

Sorry my friends- I have to actually get back to work too so I can't write a long post.  I hope you are all doing much better than me!