Well, it would be nice to do BYOC for once- but instead I'm just going to write about how pissed I am at the scale and my body right now. Feel free to skip on if this is boring to you; I do this regularly and I know it and I'm sorry. I tried to get over it so I could write something light hearted and fun, but I'm not over it, so I'm going to just write what needs to be written and get it over with.
I've been busting my ass HARD all week...so why the frick is the # on the scale going up. Can someone please explain this to me. I'm IRATE.
My workout buddy tried to make me promise today that I would not look at the scale for two weeks. I smiled and said I understood where she was coming from but I couldn't agree to it. You guys know how crazy I get when I don't weigh on a consistent basis. I need to keep myself accountable- if I don't weigh consistently, then for some reason I think that it means all bets are off and I can be nuts and it won't matter because I don't have to actually see it.
What I HATE is when I start busting my ass and the numbers go up. I'm not drinking soda; I'm not eating sugar. I'm not over eating (for the most part- accidentally had a situation with a family sized bag of chips on Wed). I already started my period a few days ago (Wed). There is no reason for the scale to go up. NONE. And don't give me this "your muscles are retaining water from lifting" crap- I already know better. I've lifted weights and lost weight many a time- too many times to actually believe that crap for a second actually. So what gives.
My other friend- in an attempt to console me tonight- offered up a diet her mother has done after each one of her children was born to lose the weight. She also did it a few years ago after the numbers slowly crept (she was getting older and it was just happening). She went from a size 16 to a 4 in a matter of months...and I'm partially tempted to try it, and I'm partially tempted to go back to a low carb/high fat diet my body builder boss put me on once that helped me drop weight pretty quickly. Dropping carbs (I'm not talking all carbs- I'm talking about seriously restricting them though to 25% of my diet) works; the problem is when you try to go back to normal eating. But I'm also desperate right now; there is no way in HELL that I'm going to work this hard and get fatter. I want so bad to be skinny this summer. I was working out 2 - 4 days a week before- usually just going for a run or doing cardio at the gym- and I was fine. Now I'm doing yoga every day, running 4 days a week, jumping rope (did over a thousand jumps tonight), doing ab ripper from p90x, and also lifting at the gym twice a week. It's INTENSE. I don't mind it in the least- I've actually been sleeping like a babe and feeling pretty awesome- until today. I just keep thinking- what's the point if I'm just going to gain. My friend keeps making me swear i won't give up because she swears in a few weeks I'll be able to see the difference. But the problem is if I gain any more weight I'm going to have a serious meltdown. I cannot handle gaining weight- especially as much as I've gained. I weighed in at 144 tonight. Mind you- I was at 137.6 right before I left for Chicago a little over a month ago. Then last week I was down to 139.8 and finally feeling like- Okay- I'm getting back to normal. Now I'm weighing in at 144? WHAT THE HELL. It's been all week too. I've tried to be patient...but I'm losing my patience REAL quick. My friends and I went to a party tonight and I had to drag a drape out of my closet so I would have something to wear. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. We're back to this...
Okay. Rant over. Anger- not over. But rant is. I'm tired and need to sleep.
Love you all- have a great weekend-