Saturday, March 19, 2011

St. Phatty.

Well, it would be nice to do BYOC for once- but instead I'm just going to write about how pissed I am at the scale and my body right now.  Feel free to skip on if this is boring to you; I do this regularly and I know it and I'm sorry.  I tried to get over it so I could write something light hearted and fun, but I'm not over it, so I'm going to just write what needs to be written and get it over with.

I've been busting my ass HARD all week...so why the frick is the # on the scale going up.  Can someone please explain this to me.  I'm IRATE.

My workout buddy tried to make me promise today that I would not look at the scale for two weeks.  I smiled and said I understood where she was coming from but I couldn't agree to it.  You guys know how crazy I get when I don't weigh on a consistent basis.  I need to keep myself accountable- if I don't weigh consistently, then for some reason I think that it means all bets are off and I can be nuts and it won't matter because I don't have to actually see it.

What I HATE is when I start busting my ass and the numbers go up.  I'm not drinking soda; I'm not eating sugar.  I'm not over eating (for the most part- accidentally had a situation with a family sized bag of chips on Wed).  I already started my period a few days ago (Wed).  There is no reason for the scale to go up.  NONE.  And don't give me this "your muscles are retaining water from lifting" crap- I already know better.  I've lifted weights and lost weight many a time- too many times to actually believe that crap for a second actually.  So what gives.

My other friend- in an attempt to console me tonight- offered up a diet her mother has done after each one of her children was born to lose the weight.  She also did it a few years ago after the numbers slowly crept (she was getting older and it was just happening).  She went from a size 16 to a 4 in a matter of months...and I'm partially tempted to try it, and I'm partially tempted to go back to a low carb/high fat diet my body builder boss put me on once that helped me drop weight pretty quickly.  Dropping carbs (I'm not talking all carbs- I'm talking about seriously restricting them though to 25% of my diet) works; the problem is when you try to go back to normal eating.  But I'm also desperate right now; there is no way in HELL that I'm going to work this hard and get fatter.  I want so bad to be skinny this summer.  I was working out 2 - 4 days a week before- usually just going for a run or doing cardio at the gym- and I was fine.  Now I'm doing yoga every day, running 4 days a week, jumping rope (did over a thousand jumps tonight), doing ab ripper from p90x, and also lifting at the gym twice a week.  It's INTENSE.  I don't mind it in the least- I've actually been sleeping like a babe and feeling pretty awesome- until today.  I just keep thinking- what's the point if I'm just going to gain.  My friend keeps making me swear i won't give up because she swears in a few weeks I'll be able to see the difference.  But the problem is if I gain any more weight I'm going to have a serious meltdown.  I cannot handle gaining weight- especially as much as I've gained.  I weighed in at 144 tonight.  Mind you- I was at 137.6 right before I left for Chicago a little over a month ago.  Then last week I was down to 139.8 and finally feeling like- Okay- I'm getting back to normal.  Now I'm weighing in at 144?  WHAT THE HELL.  It's been all week too.  I've tried to be patient...but I'm losing my patience REAL quick.  My friends and I went to a party tonight and I had to drag a drape out of my closet so I would have something to wear.  You think I'm kidding but I'm not.  We're back to this...

Okay. Rant over.  Anger- not over.  But rant is.  I'm tired and need to sleep.

Love you all- have a great weekend-

xoxo-

D

7 comments:

  1. Scales are evil. No rhyme or reason to the darn things some days. It could still be fluid retention; our bodies seem to delight in driving us around the bend! Hang in there, girl. Hugs.

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  2. Have you actually noticed a weight gain? are your clothes fitting tighter? I wouldn't freak out yet. Keep up the work out. Working out is not going to make you gain fat, so continuing to work out will not hurt you. I would at least wait until after you stop your period. I know you know your body better than I do, but I never count the weight from two days before I start until the day after i stop. Hang in there chica!(((hugs)))

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  3. Oh, and maybe you can get your body fat percentage measured now, and again after a couple months of consistant workout. Then don't focus on the scale at all. I guarantee you will be pleased!

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  4. Ack. I hate when that happens.

    Ok. I'm risking my life to tell you this. And I can only give you a hint. (The consequences could be dire.)

    Their is a secret additive in all family-sized bags of chips.

    It's not in the regular-sized or thte personal size--but there is this secret potion in the family sized that causes women to gain 5 pounds.

    The chip makers are pretty trucky and have been able to get away with this because it is only activated under rare conditions.

    First, to activate you have to eat said chips when TOM is knocking on your door. And, the tricky thing is that that is not, in and of itself, sufficient to do the deed.

    That unwise chip eating from the family bag only results in said 5 pouind gain when--and only when--radiation from Japan is approaching California.

    There you have it. Those two conditions, when in combination, result in five pounds. Every time.

    I'd tell you more, but eh chips people would kill me.... If I were you, tho, I'd drink me some water and lay off of the sodium.


    Deb

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  5. Ugh - I hate it when shit like this happens. It's just doesn't add up no matter what. THe only thing I know is you ARE doing all the right things and mentally that has to count for something - since physically it isn't showing right now. Imagine how much worse you'd feel if you'd been binging on sodas and sugars and shit - the scale would be up MORE and you'd feel worse mentally too. I love you - please don't give up. I love you.

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  6. Diz I have no clue why it happens but I know that it does happen and from what i understand either there is something (sodium) that is increased in the diet or its a fluke and will go away. There is no way you can be busting your ass so hard and the weight stay on its impossible! Just have faith and keep at it

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  7. Diz this too shall pass. I am agreeing with the fan club here that its water, TOM, and those evil chips. Give it another week, if you can. Your workouts are amazing and perhaps it is just your body adjusting to them. All I can tell you is you are not alone and we are all here to support you!! I know this doesn't help one iota but I had to try. : )

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