Thank you all for the kind words on yesterday's post. It has been an exhausting 18 hours or so, so to have your words lift me back up is amazing and I thank you. :)
I don't think yesterday would have been as bad except last week the boy that I've been seeing, the one that was one of my best friends for over a year now and then around 4 of July we started becoming "more", also let me know that this isn't working out for him. I was thinking about that today as I was driving up to drop off my demo machine at corporate; it has been a 1-2 punch kind of week. But I keep reminding myself that at least the ugly extensions that have been weighing me down are cut off and now I can move on- healthily. Not that I thought he was an ugly extension- he wasn't, but he did have some issues and even though I was willing to accept them and him as he is- he doesn't want to be here. So I keep trying to remind myself that now I don't have to deal with all of that and I can move forward. I'm free!!!!!
Saying that to myself- "I'm FREEE" feels really good. It lifts my spirit; I think I should say it to myself more often. You should try it. Say it to yourself like you mean it- look in the mirror and say- "I am FREEE!" I am free from the stress of that job; it has weighed me down and stressed me out like nothing I have ever experienced before...and I'M FREE OF IT. FREEEEEEE. I hope you're grasping the lightness that I feel by saying that- I keep typing it out but I don't know if it affects you like it's affecting me in this moment. I don't have to let my burdens weigh me down. They have for the last 4 months. Isn't it all a mind game anyway? We tell ourselves we're too tired, or too heavy, or this job is too much, or the sting will ruin me...but it won't. It makes us stronger and we can FREE ourselves from that stress and worry and anxiety and pain at any moment. Or at least I am able to right now for a moment (which I'll totally take).
I also went through and started cleaning out everything I have of the company. It felt even better to throw everything away. All of my brochures and business cards and training manuals. Buh bye now. Let's clear that space for something new...
I want to go celebrate! I want to go have a Sprinkle's cupcake. Unfortunately I am too poor. But I also want to go to yoga and I can afford to do that. :)
So yes my friends, life does move forward and on...and away from this place. If you are in a dark place- hold on because there IS light at the end of the tunnel. You CAN BE FREE too. ;)