Monday, August 15, 2011

Are you serious

My life is so messed up right now.

Things have become evident in the last 48 hours that the massage therapist is avoiding me.  I thought that I was avoiding him until he texted me Friday night- but I'm starting to realize that in actuality- he is avoiding me.  I'm not sure what happened or why he's avoiding me, but now that I'm realizing it- it's driving me insane.  I hate relationships- especially when you're dealing with someone that won't talk to you or explain why they won't talk to you.

The boss texted me yesterday too.  He is hurt that I haven't tried harder to be his friend since he fired me.  Is this a joke?  HE is upset with ME...for not trying to be HIS friend, after he fired ME.  I wish I were a mature person, and when he texted me I could've dealt with it in a mature fashion- but when someone comes at me guns blazing, I don't exactly throw up a peace flag.  Instead I fire back- and fire back is what I did.  I don't think it's what he expected or anticipated- and I think I may have made things even worse.  Part of me doesn't care.  Part of me doesn't know what to say.  He kept sending these texts that were like "okay- have a nice life" and I just kept sending texts that said "what did you expect would happen?".  I'm a bitch.

I also met a new guy this weekend.  The problem is I'm broken from the massage therapist right now and really can't do anything.  We hung out last night and I could barely focus on anything he was saying or doing.  I feel horrible but I just cannot do it right now.  All I want to do is workout and avoid my whole life.

xo-

D

5 comments:

  1. Just breathe, Dizzy. There are a whole lot of changes going on right now for you. If it helps at all, I think your former boss is an idiot for expecting you to be the one to try to be his friend after he fired you.

    People are idiots. You are not. It'll all come out in the wash... it's just sometimes the wash is more grubby than usual.

    Hugs, girl.

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  2. Sounds like maybe you really are leaning towards only focusing on you for a while.

    That boss thing is messed up. He did fire you. I mean, I get you wanted to make amends-but the ball is in YOUR court. He seriously should give you space.

    Hope the boy trouble ends. If you weren't really into the guy, I say have the talk and keep moving. Hopefully you can salvage your friendship.

    Love ya!

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  3. First, the boss who fired you is being a spoiled, narcissistic, quaasi-stalker type jerk. Do not text back...stay clear.

    Now for the massage therapist friend.

    Fierce girl, you know that I love you. With that thought in mind, read the following quotes.

    Today you said:

    "Things have become evident in the last 48 hours that the massage therapist is avoiding me... I'm starting to realize that in actuality- he is avoiding me. I'm not sure what happened or why he's avoiding me, but now that I'm realizing it- it's driving me insane. I hate relationships- especially when you're dealing with someone that won't talk to you or explain why they won't talk to you."

    Yesterday, you said:

    " the problem- when I get upset or he doesn't do exactly what I want- I go silent and ignore him until I'm cooled off and then he texts me days later. Same thing- when I get pissed at someone- I completely cut them out until I've either cooled off, or I've decided to deal with it, which I usually don't want to do. I've done this twice now (to the massage therapist). It drives him crazy and I can tell it's driving him crazy and I know it's not fair- so I need to knock it off."

    Sometimes the only way we learn just how awful we have behaved is to experience what wh have done. Since we don't mean to be cruel, we don't realize the impact of our actions.

    Stop the instruction here. Don't put yourself in a position to have to relearn it. Take my word...from peersonal experience..every time you have to be taught the same lesson, it gets more painful.

    Learn what the hand of God is graciouisly trying to teach you--and apologize to that massage therapist. And thank him for showing you what have been doing, because that was never the kind of pain you wanted to cause.

    Hugs, fierce girl. Lessons get harder as we get older. Your heart wants to do the right thing==so you'll conquer.

    Deb

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  4. I'm sorry, Dizzy. It will get better. Just hang in there. It takes time for the dust to settle after changes. It will be okay. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

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  5. Diz hun you gotta give your self some re focusing time. Why even worry about relationship with the new guy? Just be friends see where it goes. And I am sorry when you come to some one in an offensive matter the other person is gonna get defensive. As a boss he should have know that. Stupid boys.

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