Well, I shit my pants today.
I'm not kidding. I literally shit my pants; I've never done that before in my adult life (I don't think I ever did it as a child either- but if I did, I've blocked it from my memory). I can also say- up until today- I was pretty confident that I would NOT do this in my adult life- at least until much much later in life. I'm so thankful I wasn't at work- seriously. I'm even more grateful that I was home ALONE when it happened. I know this is graphic- so those of you with a weak stomach, forgive me- but I just thought I had to fart! I was just relaxing on the sofa, watching tv (it's my day off) and apparently I had a quick dose o' diarrhea. Just one quick dose- after the shower and the bathroom scrubbing and all clothes in the wash and the gagging and a bunch of cussing- it never happened again. I pray it never happens again. I never even felt the boiling/churning that comes with diarrhea usually. Just a quick squirt and then on with my day. Only it wasn't just a "quick squirt" but I won't get into how much really soaked my clothes and dripped down my leg and stuff. UGH.
The other good news is- I didn't get any on the couch or carpet- but I did say "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" about a million times on my way to the bathroom. Maybe because it was my first time shitting my pants so I didn't really know it was happening and it kind of took me by surprise. Awesome- another thing I get to have anxiety about.
So that's how MY day has been going...
In other news- I've still kept 2.5 of the mysterious 3 off. I am now motivated because it's still gone- I went running AND did yoga today before the shitting incident. I've also eaten pretty well (salads and toast for breakfast), and I've drank a ton of water. It was the salad- I know it was the salad. I made a tomato salad with mozz balls in it for lunch. I know it was that stupid salad!
I'm also a little nervous because tonight me and "the girls" are going to Olive Garden. I can NOT pig out- I barely dipped back into the 130's and I intend to stay here for awhile- which means I have to watch myself. Dang it. I don't have much control when it comes to Olive Garden's buttery breadsticks and the boats of Alfredo they grace our table with. Oh I know these items will be ordered- they are the reason we go there. I'm also nervous about my stomach now...I will NOT be happy if a rumble ensues and I have another bathroom issue.
Hope your day wasn't as shitty as mine. :)
xo-
D
This so isn't funny but every time you talk about shitting your pants I just laugh. Cuz you're so sophisticated and gorgeous and I can't even imagine it and then I can see you all in a tizzy...oh God - too funny. xoxo
ReplyDeleteLord girl-at least you can tell us and make us laugh. Stay strong at the OG! Smaller pants are better than breadsticks!
ReplyDeleteOMG! Poor you! That is really horrible (although told in a very humorous way)!
ReplyDelete