You guys- I'm dying. I'm a straight lunatic. You know how sometimes you become aware of this constant humming of white noise in the background? You'll kind of forget about it but then notice it again and become super annoyed? Yeah- that's EXACTLY how I feel. Sugar is on the brain. I'm gritting my teeth and chewing my nails.
But I'm doing it. I am struggling through because I know I need to. I just told my mom on the phone- every day that I can go without sugar is good for me. So if I don't make it far- at least I made it 5 days (and counting).
Here's the other thing I don't understand. This morning on my way to do an event, I picked up one of the instructors from our beauty school to ride to the event with me, and she had some mexican bread wrapped in tinfoil and a cup of coffee. I was already annoyed at the humming (it was 8:45), so to get my mind off of it I asked what was in the tinfoil.
"Mexican bread, you want some?" She started to unwrap it.
"What's Mexican bread, I've never had it. Is it good?" I asked looking over.
"It's soooo good. Here have some." She broke a piece off.
"Oh..is that sugar? I don't want any thank you. I don't eat sugar." I said, gripping the steering wheel.
"Oh, yeah it's sugar. But it's only on the top, here I'll dust it off."
"No, that's okay."
"No, it's only a little bit, here, I insist"
"No, I don't eat sugar."
"No, you'll love it! Here, see? I wiped the sugar off. Have some, I can't eat all of this. Have some."
"Okay. Thanks."
I had a bite or two of the mexican bread. It was good, don't be fooled. But I was secretly pissed. Why is it when you say no to someone, they become more adamant that you have some? I realized while chewing the bread, that all the sugar I've had in the last 6 days, minus the 1/2 muffin, has been because someone insisted. I didn't want to try the new skittles. I didn't want to try the Werther's original chews. I didn't want to have any Mexican bread with the sugar dusted off. LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm already a raving bitch right now. No need to exacerbate the problem, people. When someone says no thanks- it's like triple effort to get someone to do it. I don't know why this happens- I even find myself doing it when people say no to me. I don't know why but I insist and insist. It's weird, but now that I'm on the other side of it- I don't like it.
Okay friends- I'm off to the gym. My friend Ape came over today to take my measurements as well as Maimee's measurements (my roommate). We're being Martians for Halloween- sexy Martians. :) The idea is so cute and fun and we're all super stoked, but I realized while she was taking the measurements that I will be the biggest one of all my friends and I got secretly pissed again. Plus, we were trying on different tops to see which one was the most flattering for the outfits we're making and again, having on skin tight tops about sent me over the edge. Halloween is 2 weeks away- I better get with the program.
Pray for me that I will not chew off my arm while trying to get through these withdrawals. Seriously- it's really hard right now, especially now that I'm stressed about the skin tight dress. I don't need sugar. I don't need sugar. I don't need sugar (chanting resumes).
D
Oh you'll be the sexiest martian EVAH! Dizzy - you can do this. YOU CAN! Imagine what it'll be like to blog and say "I've gone 14 days or 30 days or 2 months without sugar." I get it - I do. But we have to white knuckle it and fight - our mental and physical health is on the line....ILYGTD
ReplyDeleteSexy Martians. Sounds like fun. Pics, please. :D
ReplyDeleteI don't get peoples insistence on pushing something we don't want. Why can't they just accept no, thank you at face value? *sigh*
You have brought up an issue that we all have to deal with, and may not be aware of, so thank you for that! We all assume people say no to be polite, but maybe we should accept no as a no when we offer others something. And stand your ground when you really don't want something (I know I know, easier said than done!) I do the same thing though. Mostly with high caloric drinks, in social settings. You will do it, and you will be so proud of your self. Of course this is a never ending journey (not saying that you won't ever be able to indulge). You may also look for other sweets to satisfy your craving. You can cut out sugar, but make "desserts" or what ever your craving is with other, more healthy options. Agave syrup is a good substitute for sugar, and it actually healthy (in moderation, of course). You CAN do it!
ReplyDeleteI think people don't take rejection well; any kind of rejection. If you wouldn't have asked about the bread, she might not have offered any or felt a strong urge for you to try some, but (I wasn't there mind you) because you showed interest & she believes it is something really delicious & wants you to reaffirm her opinion (thus you having another thing in common) she now NEEDED you to try some, for her, if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteIf you had a crack addiction, people probably wouldn't push you to "just take a hit." It's that whole food/sugar addiction thing that people don't get. Since we need food to live and you don't look overweight or unhealthy....
Couple of rambled thoughts, but hopefully you get my jist. Life without challenges is boring. This your time to prove to yourself & God (with the strength offered to you through Jesus) that you can & WILL overcome this. You will take care of your health first & foremost.
One thing that might work with the sugar pushers is just tell them, "No, I can't. You see, I made this bet..."
ReplyDeleteor something? I don't know. I agree, it would be much simpler if folks would just honor our refusals. Urrrrgh.
I don't think people are trying to sabotage...I think they are trying to take the other person "off the hook" and allow them to enjoy whatever it is they themselves are enjoying. No one wants to eat in front of someone who is depriving themselves of something yummy.
ReplyDeleteIf I come up with the perfect response for the food pushers, I'll let you know.
Hang in there...you're doing better than you think.