Saturday, October 23, 2010

Blah blah

I'm having one of those days.

You know the ones- where you have anxiety inside your body but you aren't 100% why.  You think you have an idea- but 1 part of you just wants to bury it.  It's too exhausting to deal with.  Then, a 2nd part of you wants to talk and talk about it- get it out of your system, you say to yourself.  The 3rd part of you is like- are you even sure you know what the issue is?  You're having anxiety- why?

I got up this morning and my bestie Coke was on the couch watching some show on MTV about eating disorders.

This whole food addiction/overcoming your issues crap is so exhausting.  I'm so over it right now.  I just want the anxiety to go away.

It's not just the food either- the more I think about it- it's boys too.  Don't they cause these issues?  You want them to like you- you want them to date you- you want to be good enough.  When will there be one that just likes you for who you are?  When will there be one that is just like- you're beautiful the way you are and I don't care if you're skinny or fat?  I love YOU.  As a person.  With your weaknesses and your strengths.  With your ups and your downs.  With all of your flaws and all of your perfections and quirks too.  It's fine that you don't have make up on right now and you don't smell like roses.  Let's not play all these stupid games- let's just be us.

But instead, I have to put on the show.  I'm so awesome- here is a list of all these reasons you should want to date me...

My insides are rolling around; boiling over each other. Blah Blah, I'm so sick of this anxiety.  It's getting worse and I don't want to focus on it right now.  I have to go- love you all.  TTYS-



  1. Oh I so feel you on this one. Thankfully I'm lucky enough to have finally found a guy who loves me even when I look a little scary in the mornings. Before that though I just decided that I didn't want to be skinny anymore, I just wanted to feel better. That's what I'm working on now. Hope the anxiety calms a bit for you. I can always tell mine is back around when I find myself switching the radio station every 10 seconds. :P

  2. People that judge others "by their covers" are such losers. I mean, they are losing out on some really awesome people just because of their weight, or color, or religion or anything. Hang in there. We love you.

  3. You asked, "When will there be one who just likes you for who you are?"

    When you reveal who you are. When you think you're good enough without the show--the one who will love the who that you are will step forward.

    He can't right now, you see, because you haven't shown yourself to him. :}

    Take the chance, fierce girl. Those who walk away weren't who you wanted. The one who steps up, he's worth getting to know.



  4. Hang in there cupcake...I found me a guy exactly like the one you described and it didn't happen until I was 41. Now I'm 48 (he's 41) and we've been married for 2 1/2 years.

  5. Take care of you have the strength to get through days like yourself...and trust knows what it is doing.

  6. I'm sorry you're feeling anxious! Take some deep breaths and put one foot in front of the other. Good luck.