Hello my little jelly beans!
Well...what can I tell you? I have been thinking about you all day. Thank you all so much for the kind supportive comments on my last post. I'll have you all know I didn't have a LICK or a BITE or ANYTHING of any kind last night (of sugar). It felt really good and I think my roommate finally realized I'm serious about this. She came in my bathroom this morning while I was getting ready and actually acknowledged, without me mentioning a word, how hard it must be to abstain when there are treats all over our house- to which I kindly informed her that it's not hard at all anymore because the physical cravings are gone. This- of course- is only a semi-true statement. The physical cravings ARE gone- but I still struggle mentally. Isn't that where the true addiction lies anyway? You can quit caffeine and go through these horrible headache cycles and then finally clear the physical withdrawals...only to go back to coke a week later. Or same with alcohol. Get over the physical hangover and still have another drink another day, after you swore it off forever. It's the mental addiction that is the hardest part of any addiction to break- and that is probably the one I'll be fighting for the rest of my life. However, I'm starting to believe in myself. It's been almost 2 weeks (Thursday). I can't believe I've made it as long as I have. I've never gone this long before. And while it's still a slippery slope and I'm scared almost every day, wondering if today will be the day, I'm still climbing. Steadily climbing.
She also mentioned that she can tell I'm losing weight. :) I can tell, and I'm super happy. It's coming off the middle- and the exciting thing about it is- I'm not even trying that hard. I really haven't been on a diet because I've been so consumed with just making sure that I'm not inhaling sugar. I have allowed myself to pretty much eat whatever I want, and as much as I want, as long as it doesn't have sugar in it- and as long as I'm not uncomfortably full. I lost 4 pounds in the last 1.5 weeks, and the exciting news is- I kept it off through the weekend. Anyone who knows me will tell you I always lose weight during the week, only to put it back on during the weekend. But not now!
In other news...I'm bored with my job and on the hunt again. It's not that I don't have a great job- I do. There are times that I swear I will never leave. There are also times that I start looking around- because I get burned out. Right now is one of those times. I did a few visits today and did a few emails, and ended up at lunch with another recruiter from another school. He kept trying to convince me to come work at his school- but I like my school. If I'm going to do this job- it might as well be on my team at my job. But I don't want to be a recruiter forever- it's not my dream- you know? I don't even know how I got into recruiting- I started out in marketing but graduated in English with dreams of being a writer. I know I'm not the best, but if I actually have a focus and a purpose, I can write something decent.
Lastly- this other recruiter. I'm not sure why he asked me to lunch- I asked him, but he wouldn't tell me. He kept telling me though that he's attracted to me and that I'm very beautiful. It was very sweet, but kind of depressing too. Most of the guys I go out with don't do this; I think it's a cultural thing. I will talk about it more some other time- right now it's still too fresh to analyze and I don't have the right words to describe to you guys what happened. All I can say (without getting too in depth) is that I've been here before- with guys like this- and it kind of depresses me.
Anyway- I'm going to the gym- I can't stand another second today. LOVE YOU GUYS!!
SUGAR FREE AND HAPPY!!!