Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Sponsor = Savior

I know it's only been a few hours- but I just had an epiphany (thanks to my sponsor) and I felt I should give you guys an update.

I called my girl and asked her if she would be my sponsor.  She accepted, of course.  I love her.

We started chatting about how hard this is and how initially I laughed at having a "sponsor"...but then our conversation took a more serious turn and I told her how I feel like I've been mourning the loss of my beloved.  My friend Sugar- who has been there with me since the beginning.  Blah blah.  Then she said this to me:  "Of course it's hard; when we see other's celebrating, we can't participate in the celebration the same way.  My son just had his 40th birthday and I couldn't have cake with the rest of the family- so yes.  It's hard.  But D- you can still have joy.  You can find joy without sugar- it's possible."

I almost started bawling on the spot.

It was exactly what I needed to hear- right at the right moment.  I CAN have joy!  I CAN be happy without sugar!!!!

I've always known this, of course.  But I've forgotten.  I was so caught up with the denial and the abstinence, that I've forgotten...

I feel so free right now!

I'm going to the gym.  I just had one of the healthiest lunches in a long time.  I feel refreshed; energized.  I am going to a new meeting on Sunday at 5- with my sponsor.  She is driving with me since it's at a different location than the one I go to now.  What would I do without her?  She knows my struggle.  She is my friend.  She is helping me get through this.



  1. I'm am sooo happy you have that sponsor. And sooo happy you had the epiphany. It is true. Before you linked joy to sugar. Now you have to link joy to moments in time and memories and activities and being present....without sugar. It can be done. In fact, the moments will probably be even more clear...without the sugar haze. ILYGTD

  2. This is so wonderful! I am so happy for you!

  3. Love this post. Love Drazil's omment. Deb

  4. A sponsor? Awesome! You keep going dizzy!

  5. That is just awesome. Way to go on the epiphany!!