Friday, December 3, 2010

Tom in December...

TOM is here.  Normally I would say blech- but I've noticed since cutting sugar- I have barely any symptoms anymore.  A little tenderness in the breasts (such a creeper word!)...but other than that- I can't tell it's that time- which I like.  No cramps, no bloating...well- a little bloating, but not much.  Maybe I'm just having a good month.

I've been 50 days without sugar (51 days since I started- I don't count Thanksgiving).  Or you can look at it as- I went 43 days, had a little sugar on Thanksgiving, and now it's been another 7 days since.  Either way, it amazes me to think that it's been almost two months.  I can't believe I've come so far; I'm so proud of myself.  Once the habit is finally broken- it gets so much easier.  I hope I never go back; I was walking around the grocery store yesterday thinking..."Wow...look at me.  Shopping at Mother's.  It's a health food store!  Since when did I become all healthy?  Since when did I eat quinoa and butternut squash and salads with almonds and blue cheese and raspberries?  Since when did I begin to love these foods and eat so simply and wholesome?  Since when did these foods begin to taste so delicious and flavorful?  Where did the dread go?  Where did the forcing myself to eat healthy go?  Where did the cravings for crap, including restaurant food go?  Since when did I go 49 days (and counting) without sugar and not even think about it?"  I feel better than I have in a long time.  No aches.  No pains in my body.  I'm hovering around 138 pounds right now and slimming down further.  No self loathing.  I have hope that I will lose more by Christmas.  I am not angry at my body or myself.  I am not disappointed.  I am berating myself under my breath and staying in my room because I don't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone because I'm pissed.

I still have a hard time making myself go to the gym though. :)  I've been going everyday for the last 2 weeks, except Sunday.  Today, I'm still putting it off- it's now 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I haven't showered yet (because I haven't worked out yet), and I'm still doing everything else except go.  I will go when I'm done with this post.  As another blogger always says- I will not excuse myself today.

When I get back from Christmas- I am going to swallow my pride, go out there, and find another job.  A part time job- to help me make a little more money every month so I can get my friggin credit card debt paid off.  I want it gone- it's the next major tackle in my life.  Because I am an addict- I tend to shop; alot.  It's another addiction of mine.  Even though I don't have much debt- I can't seem to get rid of it because every time I start to pay it down, I also start swiping the cards again.  I have taken them out of my wallet.  It's not like I spend a lot- but I am on such a tight budget right now that if anyone wants to go to lunch or go out to dinner or go to a movie- I have to either put it on the card or take cash out of savings so that I can afford to go (which means I can't afford to go).  Sometimes I'll stay strong- other times I get rebellious and start moaning about how I never get to do anything and then I just start spending everything I have.  But as one of my addictions- I have to get this under control.  I have to start acknowledging I have a problem so I can resolve it. 

Saving money is so hard for me.  I don't want to save money- why would I want to do that?  I hate it!  Of course it's nice when I have more money in my savings- it means I get to buy bigger items.    

It sucks- I literally have 6 dollars in my checking account right now and don't get paid until Monday.  My car is almost on E.  Several of my friends invited me to dinner and a movie tonight- and I'm still not sure I'm going to say no.  I hate always saying no and especially on the weekends.  I get bored sitting at home while everyone else is out!  It makes me feel like I grounded myself.  No thank you!  So when I get home from Christmas- I am going to suck it up and find a little part timer to give me a little more money. :)

Have a good weekend my friends! xoxoxo!



  1. I have the spending issues too. I'm horrible with money. It is a typical Bipolar thing but that doesn't excuse it really. Dail is taking me in hand and helping me get it under control.

  2. You should be proud of yourself. You are kicking that sugar addiction. Out the door, to the curb and down the street. :D

    I am going to stay out of financial discussions. It is a very sore subject with me, right now and I am not ready to blow like Mount Saint Helens on that subject. I will one day, to. lol

  3. I know what you mean about the money! We have been on a two year plan to eliminate the debt for four years now! We have done a wonderful job with paying credit cards down, but in the mean time we bought a truck, a motorcycle, moved, gave up a good paying job. I told him, we have to stop adding debt as we pay off debt!!!! Best of luck to you love!

  4. Hey, Diz! You know, this post reminds me of when I first went off gluten. About six weeks in, it felt like my whole life changed.

    As far as the gluten and my last post goes. Do NOT panic. I've only had one gluten eating day since surgery--Bill brought home cake. I've been eating sweets. Yes, there ARE tons of sweets that do not have gluten. I just WANT swweets AND gluten. sigh.

    But sweets are bad for me. Not only in the weight loss department, but don't forget, I'm diabetic. I really can't do much in the way of concentrated sweets. And artificial sweetners cause me problems.

    Anyway, thanks for your wonderful comments. You're a good friend, fierce girl! And I'm feeling better. The episiotomy pain has eased up enough that I can sit at the computer with my special pillow :} some and the Cipro is kicking the urinary tract infection. I'm calling it progress.

    Onward and forward,

    There were no sweets today :D,


  5. I thing its awesome that some of the TOM symptoms went away. and as for work, I am HORRID saving money but since I am on unemployment now I am forced to be frugal and not go out. So i commend you for having a savings motovation :)