Monday, December 6, 2010

No Puff Please.

Holy crap.

Holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap.

I just signed up to take the GRE.  What is happening.  The world as we know it (or as I know it anyway) is coming to an end.

My mind feels like it's on crack; a million things are running through it all at the same time.  How much money do I need?  I need to pay off my credit cards.  What kind of score will I get on the GRE?  Will I be able to get into a program that I want?  What if I don't get in?  Can I keep the job I have now?  What if I lose said job while I'm in school?  What will I do?  I wonder how much I'll have to pay for this GRE course.  Do I need to find a cheaper place to rent?  Will I be able to find a job after school that is decent?  What will I do if my roommate gets married while I'm in school?  How much did I eat yesterday?  My TOM is causing me to bleed like a stuck pig.  Is this really the program I want to study?  What about my thesis?  Thesis's sound like a nightmare.  What will I do mine on?  Will it be hard?  What do I need to do today for work?  Can I make the dinner group tonight?  I've got to pay my bills.  I'm now trying to get into a completely different program, what will my family say?  Have I taken enough time to think about this?  Will I make the Feb 1 deadline?  When can I go to the gym today- do I have time?  The boys that came over last night were so cute!  Will I be able to date while I'm in school? How will I pay for a parking permit if I don't have a job?  Will I have a job while I'm in school?  How will that work? Ha.  I'm INSANE.

This weekend wasn't my best; I was bloated from TOM and feeling sorry for myself.  Which equals binging on whatever I wanted (no sugar).  I had 4 rolls at dinner last night, with 2 bowls of hearty beef stew my roommate made.  Is that normal?  I think, considering even the boys that came over for dinner didn't pound rolls like I did, that it's not normal.  Of course it's not normal.  Today I'm up 3 pounds and pissed about it.  Sigh...Food.  The Bane of my existence.

I've also been thinking about weighing myself less.  GASP.  I know.  But I weigh everyday- what if I switched it up and only weighed once a week?  I just weigh so often; I'm completely addicted to and obsessed with the scale.  Got to move on.  I want to enjoy my holidays.

My face looks like it got pummeled by bees.  So swollen and tired looking- I look like I'm 105 years old minus the wrinkles of someone that age.  Why must my face puff up sometimes?  Sigh.  I went to this REJUV event yesterday for work- and of course- all of the dermatologists and plastic surgeons in the area promote at events like this.  They promote all of their services; I was finding out about all of the latest technologies.  From new non-invasive fat flushing techniques (that of course I want) to the latest collagen building techniques (more stuff I want)- I'm now convinced that I need BOTOX and JUVEDERM and new skin and a new face all together.  Maybe a newer, smaller body too, please.  Can someone please just give me a new face?  I'll pay you half for it- I'm kind of broke at the moment.  I want a really nice one though, so feel free to find a really, really beautiful/wrinkle free/flawless one.

I did get a cool treatment on my hands which made them look about 5-6 years younger.  Not that I was super concerned about my hands before- but it was still nice and they look great.  In fact, I can't stop staring at them as I type this out. ;)

Friends I hope you hall have a beautiful day- I have a lot to get done today.  Esp since I'm about to be a grad student soon!!!! :)




  1. Don't worry so much (hahaha)! It will all work itself out! I am super excited for you! It is going to be quite a while before I apply for grad school. I won't even finish up with my BA until next summer, and then I am definitely taking some time off, six months or so, I hope someone holds me to that!

    As for all the new face should shut your mouth! Okay okay, so I haven't actually seen your face, but I'm sure it is beautiful! You don't need to go getting a new one! But if you do find someone who is supplying them free of charge, I will take that new body!


  2. Hang in there, Dizzy. I believe that all will be well for you. Hugs.

  3. Wow! It's like you were in my head! Not necessarily the same thoughts but the same "dog-chasing-its-tail" kind of thing. I think like that on a daily basis.

    Things will be fine! Believe it. Achieve it!