Holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap.
I just signed up to take the GRE. What is happening. The world as we know it (or as I know it anyway) is coming to an end.
My mind feels like it's on crack; a million things are running through it all at the same time. How much money do I need? I need to pay off my credit cards. What kind of score will I get on the GRE? Will I be able to get into a program that I want? What if I don't get in? Can I keep the job I have now? What if I lose said job while I'm in school? What will I do? I wonder how much I'll have to pay for this GRE course. Do I need to find a cheaper place to rent? Will I be able to find a job after school that is decent? What will I do if my roommate gets married while I'm in school? How much did I eat yesterday? My TOM is causing me to bleed like a stuck pig. Is this really the program I want to study? What about my thesis? Thesis's sound like a nightmare. What will I do mine on? Will it be hard? What do I need to do today for work? Can I make the dinner group tonight? I've got to pay my bills. I'm now trying to get into a completely different program, what will my family say? Have I taken enough time to think about this? Will I make the Feb 1 deadline? When can I go to the gym today- do I have time? The boys that came over last night were so cute! Will I be able to date while I'm in school? How will I pay for a parking permit if I don't have a job? Will I have a job while I'm in school? How will that work? Ha. I'm INSANE.
This weekend wasn't my best; I was bloated from TOM and feeling sorry for myself. Which equals binging on whatever I wanted (no sugar). I had 4 rolls at dinner last night, with 2 bowls of hearty beef stew my roommate made. Is that normal? I think, considering even the boys that came over for dinner didn't pound rolls like I did, that it's not normal. Of course it's not normal. Today I'm up 3 pounds and pissed about it. Sigh...Food. The Bane of my existence.
I've also been thinking about weighing myself less. GASP. I know. But I weigh everyday- what if I switched it up and only weighed once a week? I just weigh so often; I'm completely addicted to and obsessed with the scale. Got to move on. I want to enjoy my holidays.
My face looks like it got pummeled by bees. So swollen and tired looking- I look like I'm 105 years old minus the wrinkles of someone that age. Why must my face puff up sometimes? Sigh. I went to this REJUV event yesterday for work- and of course- all of the dermatologists and plastic surgeons in the area promote at events like this. They promote all of their services; I was finding out about all of the latest technologies. From new non-invasive fat flushing techniques (that of course I want) to the latest collagen building techniques (more stuff I want)- I'm now convinced that I need BOTOX and JUVEDERM and new skin and a new face all together. Maybe a newer, smaller body too, please. Can someone please just give me a new face? I'll pay you half for it- I'm kind of broke at the moment. I want a really nice one though, so feel free to find a really, really beautiful/wrinkle free/flawless one.
I did get a cool treatment on my hands which made them look about 5-6 years younger. Not that I was super concerned about my hands before- but it was still nice and they look great. In fact, I can't stop staring at them as I type this out. ;)
Friends I hope you hall have a beautiful day- I have a lot to get done today. Esp since I'm about to be a grad student soon!!!! :)