I decided to finally post something- though I'm not sure what I'm going to talk about.
Here's the thing- like I told you guys before- my life is getting out of hand. I want to tell you all of the things that are happening- but I'm scared to because there is ONE person that reads my blog that knows me in real life- and I'm not ready for her to know everything. I'm pissed at myself that I let her have the address to my blog. I know this is MY blog, and I can talk about what I want to- but easier said than done- right? You know what I'm talking about. If you have (or had) someone following your blog that knows you in real life and could tell everyone else what you're really up to, well...you would be hesitant too.
Anyway- so I'll give you a brief rundown of a few things that I CAN talk about...
I am so broke. I still have not sold a machine. I have come super close several times but since it has not actually happened yet, I have not made any money since March. I am at my wits end with this situation. I don't know what to do. I have looked around but there are NO jobs here in California. I am scared that I may have to move home to Oklahoma and that terrifies and depresses the hell out of me. So I keep working my ass off and hoping and praying that soon something will happen. It has to happen like- NOW. NOW because I haven't paid my car payment, I haven't paid any of my bills, and I'm late on my rent. Yes, today is the 1st. My mom is sending me a few dollars to help me (she has NOTHING and I feel horrible borrowing even this little bit) but it won't get here til the 3rd. I haven't told my roommate yet.
I went on another date last night- The surfer. He's 25 and adorable. He works construction during the day- he's a framer. He's a painter in his spare time and the man is an artist. He has a 2 bedroom apartment and a dog and he cooks; he cooks for me. :) He has the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen and constantly tells me he thinks I'm gorgeous. He gives me tiny kisses constantly on the neck and lips and I don't know why, but as soon as I'm around him I turn to mush in about 30 seconds. I hate/love it.
Behind him is Arizona. Arizona is the one in his 30's. He lives in AZ but commutes here for work. He is the closest to my age and is the most relaxed of all the boys, which helps me stay relaxed. He is so fun- every date we go on is so so so fun. All we do is giggle and laugh from the minute we get together to the minute he drops me off. He finally kissed me last week towards the end of our date, but it's little kisses here and there- it's not the typical- I kiss you once and then I try to make out with you the rest of the night- type of thing. He is respectful and we have good conversation. He calls me sexy and makes me feel good. He also doesn't hound me; I have my space and I love it.
Then there are three more- but they are all tied for 3rd place and none of them are doing very well. Two of them are in their 20's and somewhat needy.
Yoga is going well, my weight is slowly coming back down again. 137.2 as of this morning. I'm ready to get back down to 135 and below- that was where I felt the most comfortable and cute. Of course it's not hard right now because I am so poor I don't have any money for food or gas so...
Blah- got to get back to work. Hope you're having a wonderful day! I have been reading up on a few blogs and I love how hard everyone is working on their weight loss and love of life. I hope to be joining you all soon (getting back to "affording" life)...