Friday, February 18, 2011

Backbone.

I'm kind of pissed this morning.

First of all, I just read Draz's post and I am inspired.  I have a backbone too.

There is no need to sit here and keep feeling sorry for myself and let my eating be out of control.  I am up over 6 pounds since Chicago- and let me remind you that I wasn't "down" then.  I was hovering just under 140...but not anymore.  I've plummeted deep into the 140's...seeing numbers I haven't seen in months.  But you know what?  It's okay.  Of course there are going to be consequences for my actions, and I need to take responsibility for what I've been doing.

Last night I woke up around 3:30...feeling sicker than I have in months.  I ate a huge burrito right before I crashed and it was just sitting in my stomach and around 3:30 my stomach was PISSED.  Not as in..I just need to go to the restroom.  PISSED as in- you never do this to me, I'll show you Big Burrito.  I decided at 3:30 am I'd had enough.  I hate hate HATE feeling this way.  I'm not doing it anymore.

Who cares that some guy doesn't love me?  I love myself.  There's no reason to treat myself poorly.

So I'm having some detox tea right now.  I will go running today.  I will do yoga.  I will eat all healthy foods; mostly fruits and vegetables as I try to make my way back to normal.  I am drinking tons of water and will continue to try to get a gallon in today.  And I will love myself today.  I will be kind to myself and treat myself how I want to treated- with respect, patience, and love.

I have a backbone too, and it's a beautiful backbone that curves just in the right spot and personally I think it's a pretty spectacular backbone.  :)

D

7 comments:

  1. Oh I know exactly what you mean! That heaviness you feel when you are eating like crap and you just feel HUGE and bloated and sickly. IT SUCKS! I have been doing the same thing to myself all week. But I am determined to FEEL better. It's amazing how quickly things can turn around when you give your body what it really needs. TLC!

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  2. You do have a back bone, and you are strong! And we love you, so as long as we love you, and you love you, you'll be good. And when a man who is worthy comes along you will be ready mentally because you will love yourself and be ready to give all of you to him!

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  3. I'm glad to see you getting back to yourself, Dizzy. Keep trying and fighting the food demons. YOu will get there. :)

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  4. First time on your blog, Dizzy, and I'll be back and following. You sound like you have a lot of spunk--good for you--stay happy and take good care of yourself.

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  5. From #49 to #49! That is rather cool, isn't it?Thanks for checking out my blog. Be kind to yourself and have a great weekend!

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  6. Babycakes...hope that run on the beach helped...let's make a voodoo doll and stick pins in him...we'd both feel better don't you think? I'm kidding...sort of. LOL

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