Friday, February 18, 2011


I'm kind of pissed this morning.

First of all, I just read Draz's post and I am inspired.  I have a backbone too.

There is no need to sit here and keep feeling sorry for myself and let my eating be out of control.  I am up over 6 pounds since Chicago- and let me remind you that I wasn't "down" then.  I was hovering just under 140...but not anymore.  I've plummeted deep into the 140's...seeing numbers I haven't seen in months.  But you know what?  It's okay.  Of course there are going to be consequences for my actions, and I need to take responsibility for what I've been doing.

Last night I woke up around 3:30...feeling sicker than I have in months.  I ate a huge burrito right before I crashed and it was just sitting in my stomach and around 3:30 my stomach was PISSED.  Not as in..I just need to go to the restroom.  PISSED as in- you never do this to me, I'll show you Big Burrito.  I decided at 3:30 am I'd had enough.  I hate hate HATE feeling this way.  I'm not doing it anymore.

Who cares that some guy doesn't love me?  I love myself.  There's no reason to treat myself poorly.

So I'm having some detox tea right now.  I will go running today.  I will do yoga.  I will eat all healthy foods; mostly fruits and vegetables as I try to make my way back to normal.  I am drinking tons of water and will continue to try to get a gallon in today.  And I will love myself today.  I will be kind to myself and treat myself how I want to treated- with respect, patience, and love.

I have a backbone too, and it's a beautiful backbone that curves just in the right spot and personally I think it's a pretty spectacular backbone.  :)



  1. Oh I know exactly what you mean! That heaviness you feel when you are eating like crap and you just feel HUGE and bloated and sickly. IT SUCKS! I have been doing the same thing to myself all week. But I am determined to FEEL better. It's amazing how quickly things can turn around when you give your body what it really needs. TLC!

  2. You do have a back bone, and you are strong! And we love you, so as long as we love you, and you love you, you'll be good. And when a man who is worthy comes along you will be ready mentally because you will love yourself and be ready to give all of you to him!

  3. I'm glad to see you getting back to yourself, Dizzy. Keep trying and fighting the food demons. YOu will get there. :)

  4. First time on your blog, Dizzy, and I'll be back and following. You sound like you have a lot of spunk--good for you--stay happy and take good care of yourself.

  5. From #49 to #49! That is rather cool, isn't it?Thanks for checking out my blog. Be kind to yourself and have a great weekend!

  6. Babycakes...hope that run on the beach helped...let's make a voodoo doll and stick pins in him...we'd both feel better don't you think? I'm kidding...sort of. LOL