Well, things are slowly getting back to normal. I feel great today- have I ever mentioned that my life is amazing? Well, if I haven't lately, I'm doing so now. Take note- you might have to remind me later. But I think it's safe to say after Chicago that, I have an amazing life. :)
I have been super stressed about work lately. I mean, SUPER STRESSED. Today I decided that I am done being stressed about it. Maybe it was the fact that I worked my budget (FINALLY after a month) and paid all of my bills and realized that I was not nearly as badly in the hole as I've been thinking I was. When you don't do the math, you have no clue where you are- and that's more stressful than knowing and living on the tight budget. Maybe it's the fact that I have been doing extra massages lately and have been able to keep my head above water (BARELY). Everything that happened in Chicago did not happen on a credit card, but out of my own pocket. Of course, like I mentioned- Goose paid for most things. But there were several times I would secretly sneak off to find the waitress and pay for things so that he didn't get to pay for everything. After all that he already paid for, I could not let him get everything- though he tried. I have been able to save a few hundred dollars too in the last few weeks, which is kind of a miracle too. Maybe it's the fact that I have been applying for new jobs and even though they are sparce and few and far in between, it makes me feel better to know I'm at least trying. As you all know by now, I love/hate my job. Today I decided that I am going to go ahead and take the plunge to find something else. I know I always say this- but the thing is I go back and forth all the time because I do have a good job, I'm just not good at handling the anxiety that comes with pressure. But today I realized some things about my company that do not coincide with who I am and it made the decision easier for me; despite the easiness and flexibility of my job, I will find another one and move on. It's time, and i'm finally at peace about it. I feel good about this decision and have already applied for a few today. My fingers are crossed- keep yours crossed too please. Maybe it's the fact that Goose keeps texting me, even though we're millions of miles apart (that made this day so great). Maybe it's knowing that even though I've gained 5 pounds, I can lose it again. Who knows- the point is I'm done stressing. Time to move on.
What a glorious feeling.