For my birthday, my bestie Ky bought me an unlimited Yoga pass to the yoga studio she works at. I am so excited- my free month starts tomorrow. I will be doing yoga every day in the month of February and then also hope to include some running a few times a week as well. YESSSSS!!
I haven't been losing or gaining at all in the month of January, which is good because I was super stressed and doing whatever felt right in the moment. If that meant big sugar free frozen yogurt at 10 at night- I did it. One thing I've realized over the last month is that watching what you eat doesn't have to be completely painful. It doesn't mean torture and cutting everything out. It means thinking about portions and thinking about what feels good for my body. Not what 'tastes' good, but what feels good...there's a difference. I'm still trying to adopt this principle because part of my problem is that I'm a huge taste person and if I don't like something- I won't eat it. So trying to learn to change those habits is something that I've been working on. Not to say I'm forcing myself to eat things I don't like, but sometimes what tastes good isn't necessarily good for you- so trying to re-wire my thinking so I can just be healthier is the key I'm working on right now..
I also tried to continue to work out as much as I could during this month just to help myself feel less stressed and somewhat in control. I've started to remember why I like working out- it makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I've accomplished something, it gets the negative energy out, and gets me feeling refreshed and young again. Not that I feel old, but working out will definitely make you feel your body more, and I like being connected to my body like that. Even though it can suck in the moment, afterwards I have NEVER regretted doing it. So, I try to keep that in mind when I don't want to go...
Other than that- nothing is new. I started looking for a new job since I now won't be going to grad school. My job is a good job but now that I don't need to focus on other things, I can devote more time to it. I want to do something that makes me feel productive, accomplished, and gives me opportunities to grow. This position doesn't do that. So once again I'm on the hunt. For those of you who have followed my blog for awhile, you know that this is something that always comes and goes for me. It's not something I enjoy at all...but I just keep hoping that if I can eventually find something that gives me what i'm looking for, I will be much happier. And I believe if I keep looking, I'm more likely to find it than if I just hunker down and do my job and wish something would just fall into my lap. So yeah, on the prowl again.
Chicago is this weekend and I'm getting more nervous by the day. It doesn't help that there is a huge storm a brewing. I better not get stuck there or all hell will break loose; I'm not kidding. As excited as I am to go to a new city and do new things, I do NOT want to feel trapped or stuck. I don't think I will, but part of me is just nervous. I guess I'm more of a control freak than I realize. There have been several issues that have come to light in regards to my personality and relationships that I haven't been aware of before this experience, so the good news is I'm still learning about myself and my needs and my desires to take care of someone else. I feel like I'm sounding very evasive and elusive so I'll stop now.
I love you all- thank you for all the kind words and encouragement!!