Thursday, January 27, 2011

Torture Chamber

Let's just say I got myself into some deep water and I'm not sure I can really swim with the local dolphins.

A friend recently set me up with someone.  He lives far away so up until recently, I haven't really been too invested- we were initially emailing back and forth for months ( a few emails a week) and then one day it just clicked and we began talking constantly.  We talk all day everyday.  I wake up to a text every morning that says something along the lines of "Good morning Gorgeous", and I go to bed every night sending a text saying, "Sleep tight babe".  Long story short- I'm flying out next weekend to hang out with this guy in Chicago.

I am Jack's ball of mixed emotion.

I am excited.  I am nervous.  I am happy and then terrified.  I get in Thursday and leave Monday.  That's in one week from now.  So close and yet still so far away.

That is a long time to be alone with a guy I have never been alone with before.  What if I get there and decide-  That has happened before!  How fun will that be- to explain that he needs to sleep on the couch because i don't want him in the same room as me (for your info, I would sleep on the couch since it's his house, just sayin...).  What if I get there and we have a blast and I don't want to leave?  That has happened before too (I'll leave anyway, I'm not THAT crazy).

All day long he has been sending me little teasing texts about next weekend and suddenly, I don't know how (um...because i'm the most competitive girl alive?) it turned into a game of "who is going to torture who the most".  Ahhh...great.  The tickling/sexual frustration games.  I forgot about those, seeing as I haven't dated anyone in like... A YEAR.


I hate dating long distance.  It's the worst.  You spend most of your life waiting for a little weekend here or there to spend nonstop with someone for 72 hours and then they leave again and you go back to waiting.  It sucks and I swore it off for good the last time I did it.  And then here I am, starting all over with this again...

Have I mentioned that I take my GRE tomorrow?  Guess who is supposed to be studying but is so burned out and hopeless that she is actually writing on her long forgotten blog.  Yeah, that'd be me- again.

Please pray for me...that I'll survive tomorrow, and next weekend.




  1. Good luck! Love the Fight Club reference btw ;)

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  3. I've dated long distance before. It's hard but if you think it's worth all the wait, I'm sure you'll find a way. Most of the relationship I was in, was conducted online, through skype, or the telephone. I live in the UK and he lived in Oklahoma, America. He came to visit twice, but in the end it wasn't enough. I needed more. Just the everyday stuff you don't get to witness otherwise. Funny 'cause it's the smaller stuff that came to become increasingly important. Not being able to be spontaneous and go visit. Not being able to touch them or have them look in my eyes. It made the time we did have pressured, sacred, it made it hurt more than it ever should have. Which made us cling to it all the more, even if we should have let go.

    I think it's doable, but it's a lot more work than you would have with someone closer. Just try to enjoy it for what it is. For whatever it has the potential to become.

  4. Hey, this is exciting! Both the GRE and the date! I understand the nervousness, but also the excitement! It's been a long time since I've felt that kind of excitement! Enjoy it!

  5. Praying hard for you here, Dizzy. I'm really glad I am not in the dating scene right now. I'm glad to be married and not having to get to know men and wondering about all this. I feel for you though and I don't know how women do it these days. I wish you luck on the GRE and I also hope thing works out on you long weekend trip. Try to think positively until you have a good reason to worry. This may turn out to be a wonderful thing for you. :) Hugs.