I know it's been over a week since my last post. Something happened and I've been trying to decide how to process this little issue (or do I even want to address it)...
Last week I hit a new low- 135.4 on the scale. Believe you me- it was a day of glory. It was a day of pure joy and elation. It was probably insane to some that I could be so happy about something so small as a # on a scale. (don't worry that I've since gained 3 lbs back) I don't know that I've ever felt so confident or skinny or happy in my whole life as I did that day. It was seriously one of the happiest days of my life. There have only been a few short moments in my life when I've touched 135, and I remember all of them.
Anyway, my roommate and I were driving in the car and I mentioned I haven't updated my blog lately. She doesn't get to read my blog; there is actually only one person that I know in real life that I gave my blog address to that reads my blog- and I have to admit- I'm kind of disappointed I gave her my address. I knew better, yet for some reason I gave it to her anyway, and I've since regretted that decision. Since she began commenting to me that she was reading my blog, I realized I started censoring myself again (like I did on the last blog). I know it's not fair to my readers and I'm sorry; It's also not fair to me or my blog that I am constantly trying to decipher what I can and can't say on my own blog. I should have learned the first time not to give my family and friends my blog address (I had a different blog at one point that was not anonymous and I had to quit that blog and start a new one). Anyway, I'm getting side tracked.
So I mentioned to my roommate that I hadn't updated my blog lately (partly because blogger was having issues and partly because I was out and about celebrating my loss) and she says to me, "Good. You need to quit that blog. You're not a fat girl anymore. You don't need to blog about being fat anymore. You're a skinny, beautiful woman now- and you need to celebrate that. Give up the blog."
Her words are still swimming around in my head and heart.
Should I quit my blog?
I haven't been able to come back and blog since; this is the first time I've touched my blog in a week. I don't know how I feel about my blog right now.