I keep Subway in business.

Okay...I had a few little requests, so I will take them in the order they came in- a post for each. :)

Chunky Chick asked how I ended up in California and if I cook...

Pre-California- I was living in Salt Lake City working as a marketing associate for this tech company that was based there.  My best friend Ky started working with me at the company and everyday we would go to lunch and talk about how much we hated our jobs, or the office drama.  Honestly- my life was miserable- I just didn't know it.  Before the tech company I worked for a massage studio and she worked for a med spa...so needless to say- tech was not either of our dream jobs. ;)  Anyway, Ky started dating a guy in Orange County thanks to the internet, and one day she came out to visit him in January of 2008.  Of course she came back raving about Southern California.  I still remember her and I, huddled outside of our office building on our break, talking about having to get out of Utah.  She wanted to move to Southern California and she wanted me to come.  I wasn't so sure but I also had nothing else going on.  I worked every day, went to the gym, and then went home.  I wasn't dating anyone, I didn't love my roommates, I didn't love my social life, and I didn't love my job so what did I have to lose?  She had all of these pics of palm trees and sunsets over the ocean that screamed warmth and fun; plus she always came back with great stories.  In March I came with her for a visit and immediately I was hooked.

The guy she was dating set me up with his friend and both couples ended up dating from March to July (til we moved) and it was seriously one of the funnest times of my life.  Every two weeks we would fly out here to see them or they would fly to Utah to see us.  We would also meet half way in Vegas for little getaway weekends.  After that it was super easy for her to talk me into moving. :)  So we set the goal for summer and we started saving our pennies.  We ended moving out July 1st, 2008 and I tell people all the time- it was the best thing I've ever done.  I hope I never have to leave.  Needless to say 2 weeks after I moved here, that guy and I were done.  We weren't exclusive while we were in separate cities, but once I was here, it was kind of hard to determine that we should be get serious just because we were in the same town.  I was dealing with trying to find a job and trying to make friends and all of the things that come with moving;  I didn't feel like I was in a place to have a serious boyfriend that wanted to see me and be with me every second.  I don't think he was honestly that ready either; one night while he was in the bathroom a girl sent a text to him and I saw his phone and she was saying 'thank you for the wonderful time last night'- etc etc, so I know he was dating other girls as well.  A few days later we decided 'friends' was best.  I'm so thankful things happened the way that they did because if we had actually broken up before I moved, I don't know if I would've gone through with the move.

As far as cooking...oh girl- I wish so bad I could make myself cook!  There was a short period of time where I was kind of interested in it, but since I'm single and usually only making food for myself- it's a pain in my bum to cook everyday.  I will cook if I have someone else to cook for; I actually like making healthy dishes and look at recipes all the time.  I read somewhere once that most people only rotate about 8-10 dishes and I often wonder what my 10 dishes are.  Even though I usually don't cook, I do try to eat at home to save money (the key word in that sentence is "try").  I usually have a shake or some fruit in the mornings for breakfast; I'll have a snack (usually more fruit) around 10-10:30, and then start eating "real" food for lunch and beyond.  Most of my lunches are outside of my house because of work; and usually at night I will either find random things in my fridge or a lot of times I'll end up going to dinner with friends or on a date so I try to keep most of my meals light (for example- for lunch I am almost always looking for a place that offers a small salad).  I also eat Subway about 2-3 times a week (that must be one of my dishes).  I also try to offset my horrific diet by working out; I try to go to yoga as much as I can and run as much as I can; I would say realistically I probably do one or the other or both about 3-4 days a week.  Yes yes, as I type this- I'm realizing why I might not actually be losing the last 20. :)

So there you have it friends! Why I moved and what I eat.

Stay tuned for the next post!

Xo-

D

What do you want to know.

So I haven't been updating my blog daily because I don't feel like I have much to report lately.  Tonight, while looking at other blogs, I decided I'm kind of doing a disservice to you- my reader- and myself.  I have tons of things to talk about in my "real" life- why do I feel like I can't talk about them here?  It seems unless it's work or workout related- I don't talk about it on my blog; but I want to change that.  I want to share more of who I am and what I'm about.

So before I pick a random topic, I want to know if there is anything in particular that my blogger friends want to know about me or about my life- or even just my opinion on something.  Leave a comment if you do.  If I don't get any comments, well- then I will just start picking random topics and write about them.  If you ask something that is uncomfortable or freaky- I will just ignore your request. ;)  If I have nothing (which seems impossible to me), then I might pull a story from my past and share that.  Or I might write an opinion piece about something that is happening in the news, or what I think about this or that.  Maybe I will do a short question and answer post anyway or something- I'm still mulling over this whole thing.  I might just make something up too- who knows.  I just want to write more- and I want to talk about more than just work and working out.  Help me out here-

XO-

D

Training is OVER.

Well, I finally finished training.  I am so excited about my new job that I can't stand it.  I mean, I shouldn't brag, but seriously- how the hell did I get so lucky?  I haven't had time to BREATHE, let alone check email or blogs.  But as of tonight, that will change. 

The rampage is on, yet again.  I went and got tested for allergies and intolerances last week, then I went to the thyroid doctor yesterday.  In fairness,  I have to see the thyroid doctor once a year anyway to make sure that my dosages are correct.  It's usually pretty simple- I go give blood and they tell me to stay on the same dosage.  I haven't had the dosage change in 12 years.  But I still have to go through the motions.  It was good to see the thyroid doctor because he always gets me pumped up about how I'm doing and what else I can do to help me regulate my body and get in shape.

The bottom line is- this summer is going to be the best summer ever.  I am about to start my dream job.  Talking about skin care and working in the beauty industry is and always has been my passion and now that I'm getting paid for it- I'm so stoked.  I also have seen 2 doctors in the last week to discuss what I can do to lose these last few pounds and feel good about my body.  Everything is coming together and I couldn't be happier.

I am going to read and comment on a few blogs- a better update later (sorry this is so scattered I'm also trying to talk with my friends while writing this post).  XO!!

D

The end.

Today was my last day at my old job.  Hallelujah.  No, I mean HALLELUJAH!!!

Can the new job please start already.

That is all for now. It's 1 am and I'm ready for my bed...it's calling me.

XO-

D

The Results are In...

Well, I went and got "tested".

Surprise surprise...I only have one food allergy.  Guess which one it is.  No, not dairy.  No, not gluten.  Cane Sugar.  Cane friggin sugar.  Of course.  She called it my nemesis; and she had no idea how right on she was.  Did I ever mention that sugar is the one thing I'm addicted to?  ARRRRGGGHHH!  On a scale where 10 is normal, I am at a level 50, currently, and I haven't even had any sugar for a few days!  My body retains fluid and swells up when I eat sugar...which makes perfect sense to me.  How many times have I literally eaten dessert with or for dinner and then complained the next day that I gained two pounds?  Because of the fluid.  Remember when I went sugar free for 90 days and everyone thought I lost like- 15 pounds and really I lost 8?  Yeah...all fluid.  It makes sense to me.  The good news is- I am not allergic to natural sugars, and only slightly allergic to honey.  It's CANE SUGAR...one of my loves. :(  Of course.

She also found that my thyroid is really weak.  That didn't surprise me; I have been taking thyroid medication for 12 years now.  It's causing my metabolism to be sluggish, and combined with the sugar allergy- I've been pretty much at a stand still.  It's such a relief to at least know why I've been struggling so hard to lose these last few pounds.  For my thyroid, she recommended some herbal supplements that will help strengthen it and also strengthen my stomach and liver too, since those two organs seem to be secondary behind my thyroid in weakness.  She suspects that they are weak because my thyroid is tired and weak.

She laughed at my request to find out if I could drink Diet Coke.  :)  "Every once in a while it's okay".

And there you have it!  I feel like a new woman- I am so excited to get started again on my little weight loss path.  Hopefully with my new supplements and a new resolve to avoid sugar, I should begin tightening up and losing again.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed!!!

XO-

D

Drastic Measures.

2 more days of work and I can barely stand it.  GET HERE ALREADY!  These last few days are dragging on and it is killing me softly.

I have a few things to report.

1) I've been steadily working on my emergency prep and am proud to announce I now have enough water to last me for a week; I have food to last at least a week, if not longer, and I have a little 72 hour emergency bag in my trunk.  I am so proud of myself.  I also saved a little less than $500 so far for emergency.  Mind you- this doesn't even pay my rent.  But if an earthquake hits and I have to high tail it out of CA, I will at least have enough money to buy some gas.

2) Someone stole my debit card # and has been charging up a storm at Walgreen's and Bed Bath and Beyond in Nor Cal.  Really?  I'm pissed- but luckily I caught it early enough that we were able to put a stop to it before they did too much damage.  They attempted to purchase several hundred dollars of things at Walgreen's and were denied twice. Hahahaha.  Serves you right for stealing from a broke woman!!!!  Idiots.

3) I am back on the yoga bend and have been going everyday since I got home from OK.  My body feels so good when the hour is over (it sucks during that hour).  I am going to see my chiropractor tomorrow; she is a little crazy but, more importantly, she is dead on as far as muscle testing and being able to read problems within your body due to diet, exercise, experience, etc.  I want to know if I have some mental blocks as far as these last 20 lbs are concerned.  If so, I need help releasing them.  I also want to know if I have any mild (or major) food allergies, if I need extra protein, if my body responds better to certain foods vs other crap, etc.  Am I okay drinking soda, etc etc etc.  Knowing little things like this about your body can help you when you're on the path to losing weight.  At this point- I feel like I need to know as much as I can find out about my body.

So how does she do all of this?  She finds out by "muscle testing".  This is a basic rundown of how it works:  When your body is weak in an area, than your muscles are weak in that area as well so when someone tests the muscle, they find out where the weaknesses are and then can tell you what your issues are based off of those weaknesses.  The first time I had it done- I thought it was insane.  I thought it was pure bull.  Until she started talking about certain things that had happened in my life.  Specific incidents that there is no way she could have ever known.  She was learning all of this based off of my muscles.  From there she helped me release the blockages and weaknesses that had occurred due to these events.  Since I'm a massage therapist, I'm usually willing to try new modalities of holistic practices just to see if I believe in them.  Plus I've taken energy courses while in massage school and believe strongly in good energy and the healing it can do in your body.  A good energy worker can seriously work miracles without even realizing it.  But you have to find someone you trust and that has good energy (and in my opinion- has been doing it a long time and KNOWS what they are doing).  I know- it may all sound weird.  But I'm super excited to find out a little more about my body tomorrow...I'll keep you guys posted of course.

Um...that's about it for now.  Off to catch up on some blogs- xoxo!!

D

Changes.

I am so happy.

Sometimes I sit around and ponder how I got to this point.  I don't know that I've ever felt so fulfilled or so happy in my whole life.  Blah Blah Blah I had a whole paragraph typed out about how wonderful my life is, but in an effort to condense this post I've deleted it.  Just know, I love my life lately and am super happy.

Last night I was looking at some of my fellow bloggers pages and I was a little saddened that some people seem to be stuck in the same ruts they've always been stuck in.  They complain about the same things that ail them over and over and over again- but seem incapable of really making the changes that would bring them happiness.  I've been reading the same posts for a year.  They WANT to change; they start anew consistently in a real attempt to change.  We all root for them every time, but inevitably they are stuck and end up falling back into old patterns.  I'm by no means judging or trying to come down on anyone- but it made me start thinking about people in general and how some of us change and some of us just don't, or can't.  I think of some of my friends in my "real life" who have not changed at all in the last 14 years since I've known them; and how others have changed so much you wouldn't even recognize them from 10 years ago if they walked up and slapped you in the face.

The more I think about this- the more I realize I am in the same boat and it annoys me.  I want to be different- I'm so good with change in other areas of my life- why do I struggle so much with my weight?  While on one hand I'm willing to take major risks to change my life (ie- get a new job and take a huge plunge into uncharted waters to make more money and be happier, or fly half way across the country to meet a guy to find a possible love match), on the other hand I cannot seem to lose these last 20 lbs to save my life.  As soon as I start to lose- I sabotage myself somehow, some way.  I want to lose the weight; there is no question to that.  I really, really do; I want to lose it.  I look around all day and covet other women's bodies who are smaller than me.  I know this isn't healthy, trust me I know.  Sure, I'm thankful that I'm so close to goal and sometimes I even try to just find peace within my size; but inevitably I always go back to being unsatisfied with where I am and go back on the upswing.

So that's where I'm still at.  Still.  If you're tired of reading my blog, I don't blame you.  I'm tired of complaining about the same thing.  I'm tired of telling you guys I'm on yet another rampage only to sabotage myself a few days later.  What's the mental block?  I want to vow that I will change; but I don't know if I will at this point.  Why is this so hard?  I've heard other people say this, and I get annoyed.  "Just do it" I think, and yet, here I am, asking myself the same damn question.  Not sure what it's going to take- watching all of my friends and many others lose while I'm sitting within the same 5 lb range.  Awesome.  

Please believe me though- I am overall pretty happy.  I only have 1 more week left of this job and then I'm off to new opportunities.  Now if I could just create opportunities for myself to lose the last few pounds instead of looking at it like a chore...

XO-

Bored with myself.